The Worst Puns Ever — All 18 of Them!
Ok. You can shoot me now.
Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. — Fred Allen
What does Karl Marx put on his pasta? Communist Manipesto! — Stephen Colbert
You can lead a horticulture, but you can’t make her think. — Dorothy Parker
Two vultures board an airplane; each is carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at them and says, “I’m sorry gentlemen, only one carrion allowed per passenger.”
Two boll weevils grew up in the Deep South. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as: the lesser of two weevils.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, but when they lit a fire in the craft, it sank, proving once again that you: can’t have your kayak and heat it, too.
A three-legged dog walks into a saloon in the Old West. He slides up to the bar and announces: “I’m looking for the man who shot my paw.”
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal? He wanted to transcend dental medication.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby…
