How to put out the dumpster fire in your mind
Seek the truth, and hope can follow
One of the best parts of my job is chatting with members of the Koko community, a global support network that was first developed at MIT. It’s especially thrilling to speak with some of our most active members — people who have helped hundreds on the platform. A few weeks ago, I spoke with Joel, an especially dedicated Koko member from Canada.
Joel joined Koko serendipitously, while browsing some of the chatbot options on Kik. He has since spent months dutifully helping others on Koko. He told me that he’s particularly drawn to Koko members who feel “unsure of themselves or feel like outsiders.” He uses Koko as a “way to guide and give truth to others, so they may have a greater chance at happiness in their lives.”
I love this idea of giving ‘truth’ to others. As I chatted with Joel, I noticed that he used terms like hope and truth somewhat interchangeably. I think this is a profound idea. Depression seduces us into believing many things — that we’re unloveable, that the world is empty, that the future is hopeless. It assures us that all hope is a delusion. But this is demonstrably untrue. A positive framing of the world, a sense of hope for the future, can be far more accurate than the alternative¹. To paraphrase John Keats: hope is truth, truth hope — that’s all you need to know. This notion forms the bedrock of cognitive therapy, and it can be an epiphany for many who struggle with depression. Joel has intuited this idea on his own, and he’s shared it with hundreds of people in the Koko community.
Joel’s innate talent on Koko is likely a product of his upbringing, which was very difficult. His father was abusive and his older brother became addicted to heroin when he was 14. Sadly, his twin was miscarried, giving him the “feeling always as if something was missing, as the connection to one’s twin is strong.” He said, “I often felt misunderstood in my sentence structuring, due to my other half not being alive to complete my thoughts.” To overcome adversities such as these, one has to be a very special person. Joel’s resilience is inspiring and I’m so thankful he’s able to share it with the Koko community, inspiring others to find truth and hope in their own lives.
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- There has been some research to suggest that depression can convey accurate appraisals of the world (a phenomenon known as ‘depressive realism’). However, this idea remains very contentious and the data is mixed. It also seems to contradict some of the core ideas behind cognitive therapy. For more on this, see Moore & Fresco, 2012.
