Goldilocks and the Antifragile Creative
If you live in a creative introvert (CI) body, you may prefer things to be not too hot/hard/loud, nor too cold/soft/quiet, but ju-u-u-st right. You may have been shamed for being too sensitive or called fragile, when really your ability to tune into the subtler aspects of life is one of your greatest creative strengths. Your sensitivity helps you see and understand what others miss.
Sensitivity is valuable, so when I suggest that creatives become antifragile, I’m not asking you to tone down your personality or toughen up. Instead I’m inviting you to explore how the Goldilocks Principle of ‘just right’ can help you better manage stress and discomfort so you can be the epic creative you were intended to be.
What is the Goldilocks Principle?
In his book The Complete Guide to Yin Yoga Philosophy and Practice, Bernie Clark writes about the Goldilocks Principle, the optimal level of stress and tension for health. We know that too much stress causes damage, but with too much ease atrophy sets in. Clark even suggests that excessive comfort-seeking is fragilizing, robbing us of opportunities to build resilience. When we balance stress and ease, however, we find strength. We become antifragile. This is true of body and mind.
Goldilocks and the Creative Introvert
Wisdom is learning to work with instead of against the quirks of our personality. However, when we over-identify with being a Highly Sensitive Person, empathic, introverted, etc., our preferences become limitations that keep us living small and defensive. We avoid discomfort and risk and get stuck in our comfort zones, missing important growth opportunities.
On the other hand, too many creative introverts try to succeed by striving and hustling for external rewards without tending to our inner lives first. We can take on extroverted traits and put ourselves out there. And we also need self-awareness and tools to recharge and recover, without which we can hit burnout and depletion pretty quick.
The Goldilocks spot for creatives is a balance between these two extremes. For most of my twenty years as a working creative, I wavered back and forth between cycles of hustling/burnout and self-doubt/hermit-ing. I wouldn’t have described myself as fragile, but I was easily sidelined and struggled to maintain my energy. Now I have more awareness about my needs. I have self-care tools like yoga and meditation to help maintain my energy and better balance my health, relationships, and creative projects.
Becoming an Antifragile Creative
If like Goldilocks, you’re in need of an antifragility road map, there are a few simple ways you can get started. Develop some tolerance for things to be ‘so so’ at least some of the time. That doesn’t mean settling. It means letting go of our ideas of what’s good and what’s bad and accepting what is. We will inevitably find some people, projects, and environments draining. Others will be more in line with our energy and comfort zone. We can balance the two in line with our values.
Strong self-care allows us to take risks and extend ourselves, knowing we have the skills to recover and recharge. Yoga, meditation, exercise, good nutrition, and play can all be part of our antifragility toolkit. Find what brings you positive energy, joy. Add more of it into your life.
Community is another vital part of becoming antifragile. Much of what we do is made better and worthwhile through others. Look for peers and friends in creative fields. Join a creative association or start a group. Find mentors, teachers, wise elders. Use social media to build a community of people who get what you’re doing and are eager to be part of your journey.
While you’re at it, create a support network. Babysitters, pet sitters, housekeepers, therapists, and landscapers help free up your energy for creative purposes. They’re also available to step in when you need extended self-care time to recharge. If the budget is tight, barter for services. Ask for favors. Put your needs out into the Universe, and trust you’ll get what you need. You may be surprised.
Becoming an antifragile creative is a journey, so have grace for yourself. When you find yourself sidelined by burnout or self-doubt, know that you have everything you need to recover. Rely on your community and support network. Reach into that self-care toolkit. And then get back to creating. One day you’ll find that you’ve built a life and practice that, for you, really is ju-u-st right.
