German Class
Flash fiction — in which the author learns that German is not an easy language to pick up
“Today we will learn the verb ‘kommen’, which means ‘to come’,” Emma, the German teacher said. “Here are some examples.”
“ich komme: I am coming.”
“du kommst: you are coming.”
“er kommt: he is coming.”
“sie kommt: she is coming.”
“es kommt: it is coming.”
“Can you add prefixes?” I asked.
“Let’s try to focus on the basic verb ‘kommen’ today. I know that you have lots of questions and ideas, but please keep them to the end,” Emma said.
“English can add prefixes and make new words, like ‘income’ and ‘become’; it is pretty handy that way,” I said smugly.
Emma couldn’t resist, “Well, in German ‘Einkommen’ is income, ‘ankommen’ is to arrive, and ‘bekommen’ is to receive.”
“Oh,” I said.
“Let’s continue,” Emma said. “Let’s repeat the conjugations together: ‘ich komme, ‘du kommst’, ‘sie kommt’.”
“So, how do I tell my dog to come to me?”
Louise wanted to know. She was a pensioner in her 70s with German heritage. She never really learned the language properly but heard it at home as a child.
“Well, something like: ‘Komm her’,” Emma responded.
“And my cat?”
“Let’s try to focus on the subject, shall we?”
“Ich komme, du kommst, sie kommt,” Emma said.
“The cat is a female, so should I use ‘sie’, or ‘es’?” Louise inquired helpfully. “I mean, I really love my cat, and I want to use the right words. She is a purebred Egyptian cat with a certificate.”
Emma’s foot tapped erratically. She took a big breath.
“Let’s try to concentrate, shall we? For example, to ask someone when her train is coming you can say: ‘Wann kommt dein Zug?’”
“And in the future?” Lousie asked.
“Does this sentence apply to the underground too?” Bryce asked. “I want to buy a Germany-wide train ticket, so I want to ask about the different kinds of trains,” Bryce asked.
Bryce was in his 20s. He wanted to learn German to speak with his grandmother.
“I don’t like trains, they don’t have enough lavatories,” Louise opined.
“Well, the underground is called a U-Bahn,” Emma couldn’t help herself. “But there is also the S-Bahn, so don’t get confused. Germans really like complaining about the train system. Let’s get back to the subject, shall we? Can anyone tell me how to say: when will my train arrive?”
“Oh, I see, S-Bahn is like a surface train and U-Bahn is like an underground train. Cool! Is S-Bahn and Straßenbahn the same?” Bryce asked.
Emma held her table and her knuckles went white. Her voice was a little shrill when she said…
“When will my train arrive?”
“Wann kommt meine Zug?” I tried.
“Good! How about; my friend came to Berlin?” Emma said.
“It is ‘mein’, not ‘meine’.” Bryce told me. “That’s because ‘Zug’ is male.”
“Wait, what gender is U-Bahn?” Louise said.
Emma sat down and arranged her shirt.
“And S-Bahn?” Louise asked.
“We can talk about that later,” Emma said after a pause. “Can anyone say: my friend came to Berlin?”
“With or without a train?” Bryce asked.
Emma smiled, which kind of train? “U-Bahn, S-Bahn, Intercity, or Straßenbahn?”
Acknowledgments
Kudos to K. Wald for correcting the German.
