MISADVENTURES IN DATING
In One Hour My Match Date Said Five of the Dumbest Things I’ve Ever Heard
There were actually twenty but we could be here all day
On a sunny Thursday morning in San Francisco, I got a message from a Match contact named Susan. She liked my profile and had an extra ticket to the designer show at Fort Mason that I had been wanting to see. Her pictures and write-up were intriguing. She had gorgeous long straight red hair. She was pretty, fit, and seemed like a hip, urban, artsy character. She checked a lot of my boxes. We agreed to meet that afternoon at the show.
The warehouse space, right on the bay, was sunlit and crowded. At the door to the exhibit, an older woman was chewing the ear off of one of the security guards.
“Oh, you haven’t seen the exhibit? You really need to see the exhibit,” she said excitedly. “So many wonderful things to see… furniture, art, photog — ” She stopped abruptly as I approached. “Brian?”
“Yeah, um — ” I said, not recognizing her.
“I’m Mildred.”
“Are youuuuuu — Susan?”
“Well, my real name is Mildred but I like to be called Magenta.”
