Reflection
Fiction
“How much crueler could the world become?” I thought to myself as I looked up to the heavens. The dark expanse of the unending sky spat at me, relentlessly, stinging my face and eyes, forcing me to look away. To look back at the child’s limp body, that lay in the middle of the road, soaking in the arrows of the rain, its face half-hidden under the dark, dirty, greywater flowing out of the sewers.
The child’s open eye above the water stared straight at me, through me. I lowered my eyes to avoid it. Despite the murkiness of the running water and the overlapping patterns of ripples from the pouring rain, I could faintly, just faintly, see the reflection of the eye still piercing me. I hung my head even lower, and I met myself, formless and almost as grey as the water. But, I, was there.
“Should I be crying?” I wondered. But then, it would only have been a cruel thing to do so. Besides, who would care if I cried? It would be a miracle if one even noticed. But, by a stroke of chance, if one did care, it wouldn’t be out of concern, but out of a ticklish curiosity. That is just how the world is, and I knew that so much so that I bet on it — on the child’s body.
Sitting by the side of the road, waiting for the sun to rise, I realized morning had come already. It was still dark, wet, and cold, but doors and windows were opening. Apparently, it didn’t matter if there was light or not for the day to start. The same seemed to apply to the dogs. One came and sat beside me, sniffed me a couple of times, and then proceeded to lick its butt.
The first person to pass us was a plump, middle-aged man, smartly dressed in white. He came jogging with heavy steps, but his whites didn’t turn grey from the splashing. The dog, for a moment, stopped licking and looked up, but the man simply ignored us both, sending a miniature tsunami on us as he skipped over the child and landed heavily. He didn’t look back and continued at a pace at which he couldn’t lose weight.
Shortly after, a couple came by next, sharing an umbrella. The both of them were transfixed on each other, completely unaware of the swishing water around them. They seemed happy in their little world, having just enough space to accommodate the two of them. That’s just how the umbrella was built.
Sensing their presence, the dog whimpered loudly and caught the woman’s attention. Her heart seemed to bleed for the dog, as she pressed her hand against her chest, and expressed pity with a resounding “Aww.” The man couldn’t stand doing anything. He stepped out into the rain, removed his jacket, and wrapped the dog in it. As he stepped back under the umbrella, she welcomed him with a smile and a hug. He had stopped her bleeding and they walked away in a warm embrace.
The rain didn’t let up and the water continued to flow with greater push. The child’s tiny, skinny body could be washed away. It was only a matter of time. As a matter of time, a lot more people were now walking the road, over and around the child, careful not to step on it, whilst avoiding looking at it. I remained invisible, being splashed at as if I wasn’t there. The dog fared better — drew some desirable attention by knowing when to pull its tongue out of its butt and sticking it in those that passed by.
“I have money for nothing as I am saving up.” I heard one guy in a raincoat say to another. “I will need to save for at least another three months to get that new mirror”.
“That mirror! Awesome!” replied the other guy, not in a raincoat. “But what’s wrong with this mirror?” he asked, pointing to the mirror in the other guy’s hand.
“Nothing’s wrong with it. But that one just feels right” he said, wiping away the water from it.
“That’s so cool! You have some incredible insight into these kinds of things. Could I have this one when you get the new one?” the guy, not in a raincoat, asked anxiously.
“I do have insight, don’t I?” said the guy in the raincoat smiling smugly. “Well, about giving you the mirror,” he continued, “I will definitely think about it.” As he said this, his eyes looked at the dog for a second, before turning back to the other guy.
As the guy walked away following the one in the raincoat, I looked at the child.
“We cannot afford any fancy mirrors, but we don’t need them either,” I said to it in my head. “Mirrors are the least of our problems.”
Just then, a young woman, dressed in a tight-fitting crop-top and a thigh-clinging mini skirt, sauntering in her high heels, caught my attention. She had make-up on, a lot of it, and it seemed to deflect the water off, instead of washing off. Her fixation on her mirror was such that she didn’t notice the group of men, teenagers to hunched-over elders, trailing her closely with their hands down in their pants.
The unsuspecting woman tripped over her own leg, staggered a bit while trying to regain her balance, and then fell on her bottom, landing on the child’s face. All the while cautious about her mirror, bruising her wrist protecting it. The men immediately jumped to her rescue, surrounding her, and helping her up with their one available hand. She smiled and expressed her gratitude to each of them, and by chance, her eyes met mine. I could feel her revulsion as her face contorted with fear and disgust. Observing this, the men escorted her, assuring her protection, rubbing their hands on her back, and shouting empty threats towards me. The swelling on the child’s face forced its eye to close up, leaving only a slit directed at me.
Time had passed, but it was hard to tell as it was still dark and continued to pour. The density of people on the road started to thin as vehicles started motoring. Two-wheelers sped past us, drenching us more, honking to let us know they were coming. The smoke from the exhausts made the dog and me cough, and my vision grew hazy. The child was almost completely under the water and appeared as if it was floating.
The sound of laughter, and unadulterated chime in the weeping rain, reached my ears. I turned towards it to find a couple of children dressed in bright, yellow raincoats, jumping and dancing, kicking the water around. They were coming in my direction, being held by the hand by their parents, middle-aged women, who were probably taking them to school.
As they got closer, I could hear the conversation between the mothers. “So, no cake was left for that kid. I wish I had baked a bigger one.” said the mother nearer to me.
“I too wish you had. That kid must have been devastated.” replied the mother nearer to the child, packing as much sympathy as she could in her voice. “It’s really sad…” she was cut off by her kid who pulled her towards the child on the road. She pulled back hard and lifted the kid up in her arms. “You are going to step on it!” she yelled.
As they scolded the kid, the other kid nearer to me, looked at me curiously for a moment, and then smiled. I felt an indescribable warmth despite the cold, and I felt heavy. I smiled back.
Slap! The kid’s face turned red and tears rushed down its cheeks.
“You shouldn’t be seeing such things. Always stay away!” the mother barked.
The little head of the kid nodded, and the kid was dragged away by the mother. I kept looking until they were out of sight, but the kid didn’t look back.
The time that I had been looking away, the dog had left with the jacket and the people had cleared the roads for the large, heavy, shiny four-wheelers, with their massive wheels and tinted windows, that then dominated the road. They ran normally, fast and uninterrupted, with the water from above and below making no difference. The child was lucky with the first few, as it slipped in between the wheels aided by its tiny size, but eventually, reality caught up.
The crunch of breaking bone and the squish of squashing flesh was drowned out by the roar of the vehicles and the pitter-patter of the rain. The water turned red when a wheel ran over, but only for a moment as the grey of the water immediately took over and diluted it. After being splashed over again and again for, I don’t know how many times, the water stopped turning red. There was no longer any crunching or squishing. The rain came down heavily for a short while, drowning out even the roar of the vehicles, and then let up completely.
The clouds broke open and let the overhead sun in. The scorching rays hammered at the top of my head, right down to my soles. The water evaporated and the road grew dry, revealing the bits and pieces of what remained of the child. The dog returned, its mouth drooling. Vultures circled above waiting for their opportunity to dive in as people and vehicles moved. Mice stole glances from the shadows for their dig at the prize. In the blink of an eye, the child’s existence was erased.
I had won the bet. Putting the child to sleep was not easy, but the horrors of the world gave me comfort. I had preserved the child’s smile. Heaven should be able to sustain it. I doubt I would go to heaven, but it probably wouldn’t make a difference. Hell couldn’t be any worse.
I stood up to leave and heard the hissing of a vulture above. I looked at it, looking at me, circling me. It looked thin and frail, almost at the brink. It probably didn’t get any.
“I wish I hadn’t kept you waiting.”
