The Canals of Utrecht
A poem of a lovesick heart dreaming of roads not taken
The sun is somehow still
traveling
across the canopy of the sky, ever so ruthlessly
as if it wanted to pretend
that there are actually no pieces of azure
falling off the heavens
shattering on the ground like
crystal chandeliers.
The sun is somehow still
traveling
and every morning it tries to blackmail my moveless heart
saying that if it doesn’t start to beat again
you will shatter too
just like all that
crystal.
But I feel like
sometimes the heartbeat can be
suffocating
as if my throat was
full of it
and I’m scared that
the heartbeat might
beat me
and I might die
being too alive.
And in those moments I catch myself
red fingered
tearing my chest and neck and ribs with my nails
so I could get that
damn oversized heart
simply
out
and throw it
screaming
off the rooftop
For it to quietly root in
stony foundations of windmills
and bleed out
right into the canals of
mirror Utrecht
into the canals which
reflect your
sorrowful face
waiting for me to say
that this all is simply stupid
because I could never really send you away
this way
but I did
April 12, 2021
