Treading Water

A poem — The sinking feeling of never being good enough

Photo by nikko macaspac on Unsplash

I go to sleep with the constant fear
That I won’t become who I’m meant to be
Every day, the mundane I steer
Just to stay afloat in life’s tumultuous, vast sea
Wishing that the next day, I decide to stop playing small
And answer the loud inner whisper of life’s call
Captain!
That should be me
Invictus!
My soul needs to be freed
But I can’t shake the shame of being too late
Always berating myself
Doubting and angrily asking why I didn’t sail toward my goals sooner
Yet I’m too scared of being ill-prepared to wade through the rough waves
So I stay idle
Inundated by my torrential thoughts
Capsizing any hope of transforming into the person I dream of