What Happens When a ‘Good Girl’ Becomes a Raging Rebel
Will my entire life be a fierce battle
I was always a ‘good girl’.
No, I’d even say I was one of the best.
I was dutiful, studious, active, attentive,
Yeah, I was definitely everything people could ask of a child.
I was a faithful Christian, a chaste young girl of strong ‘virtue’.
Straight As and perfect scores, naturally the school president.
See, I didn’t realize my ‘good’ qualities arose from blind obedience.
And I didn’t realize how drastically that would all change.
It started with my quiet questions.
Why do we believe the things we do?
Why can’t I choose my own career path instead of my parents doing it for me?
Why are Indian youths forced into arranged marriages after years of being kept away from the opposite sex? That’s not abstinence, it’s an absurdity.
My quiet little questions snowballed into avalanches.
Surely, I wasn’t insane for wanting to do things with a purpose.
I questioned every single thing around me because “That’s just how it is” wasn’t good enough.
Because “What will people say?” isn’t intimidating enough.
My role as a woman, my choice, my sexuality.
My religion and my spirituality.
My dreams and aspirations.
I fought for it all, and I haven’t stopped since.
It is exhausting to fight alone.
It is exhausting to go against decades of practices and stand by entirely different ideas.
It’s exhausting to watch everyone else in my family accept things as they are,
While I rebel, simply for the freedom to create a life I like.
And suddenly, I’m not a ‘good’ girl anymore.
I’m an obstinate rogue brat who needs to be ‘corrected’.
Apparently, I’m bringing shame to my family for being so different.
I’m a misfit who needs to change because, apparently, everyone else knows what is best for me.
Sometimes, I consider giving up on my rebellion,
And settling for the norm, settling for peace of mind.
But I realize settling has its own levels of hell —
Settling when you know you will always want more.
So, I’m taking a leap of faith, and going after what I want.
The repercussions are huge and I may regret this big time.
But settling is not an option.
Because when a ‘good girl’ snaps, she’s never going back.
