POWER Rankings: “We’re In This Together”

The weekly ranking that lets you know who’s pissing us off to the point that we’ve just got to get them up out the paint.

Each week, The Last Class puts together the “POWER Rankings”, the top five characters on Starz’ hit series, “Power”, that need to just go ahead and die. It’s not because they did anything. They need to die and get off the show because their mere presence is annoying. I mean, have you seen Tariq St. Patrick’s face? That’s the face of a kid who needs to have his behind whooped for at least three consecutive seasons. In fact, there needs to be a campaign to have a mini series spin off of Tariq just getting his behind beat for all the dumb decisions he’s made and is going to make in the episodes to come. Before we get to working on that spin-off series, here are the POWER Rankings following the fourth episode of season four.

1. Angela Valdes

We Tried to Tell You, But You Didn’t Want to Listen, Did You?

Last Week’s Ranking: #4

Tasha tried to tell you. Tommy tried to tell you. Ghost tried to tell you himself, but it took a drunk lawyer standing outsider your door in the middle of the night for you to finally take a second look at your case? She is really the dumbest, yet most successful attorney I have ever seen. It’s amazing how she makes such dumb decisions, but manages to still outperform her entire team. Then again, her team is full of the only characters dumber than herself.

2. Terry Silver

It’s always better to be the “angry, black guy” than the self serving jerk.

Last Week’s Ranking: #2

He is the biggest asshole I have seen on television in some time. If he weren’t defending Ghost then he would be number one on this list. How can you be more of a jerk than describing any black person who shows any bit of emotion an “angry black man”, but see no flaws in yourself. He’s so pretentious it makes me nauseous.

3. Dre

Can you even spell ‘loyalty’?

Last Week’s Ranking: Unranked

For a long time, Dre was one of the more likable characters on the show. He was trying to be clean and put food on the table for his kid, but he went from that to being one of the most disloyal people in a crowd full of disloyal characters. I also want to know who’s been taking care of his daughter all this time. If Dre is always at the club and we have yet to meet the baby’s mother, who is taking care of this child? Somebody please give an answer.

4. Tariq St. Patrick

We’re just waiting for Tasha to give you that well deserved ass whoppin’

Last Week’s Ranking: #3

It’s been said once and it needs to be said again. The most satisfying part of the season will come when Tasha puts those hands on Tariq for being easily the dumbest character in this entire show. Who willingly hangs out with Kanan? A lot of people don’t even like 50 Cent, the real person, but you decide to hang out with Kanan? I bet Tariq is the kind of the kid who fell for the “Come on kid, I’ve got candy in the truck” trick. He is too damn old to be this damn gullible. Not to mention, I can already see him and that girl he’s been eyeing getting into trouble. If he doesn’t end up dead by the end of this season, I’ll be damned.

5. Mike Sandoval

You must want to get caught.

Last Week’s Ranking: #1

The only reason Sandoval dropped from first to fifth is that he wasn’t on the screen long enough to catch that dumb look he always has on his face. From here on out, it’s truly going to be a race to see whether he or Angela can make a dumber decision first. Will Sandoval get himself caught or will Angela fully show her hand in this leaving Sandoval no other option, but to kill her?

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