A Safe Place
When I was 13 years old, I pretended to be someone else.
I was told that the Internet was a scary place, especially for children around my age at the time. Ironically, my aunt introduced Facebook to me, insisting that it was a fun website where I could even play some games with random strangers online. She was not wrong on the ‘games’ part. Still, I could not ignore my family’s warnings. I did not want to get myself in danger, after all.
And so, I made another account for myself, using a random name I came up with and a picture of an anime character for my profile picture. From that moment, I realized that I had fallen myself into a strange rabbit hole of false identities.
Since then, I met various people — from those who use a different name like me, to those who use their real names. However, one thing remained consistent throughout my meetings with these people: I became friends with them one way or another.
From this, I learned a fascinating thing about the Internet: it brings together people with common interests, regardless of age, gender, race, sexual orientation, and other factors. As a result, these people form groups, and these groups become a safe haven for many.
As the years went on, I became a member of some of these groups. However, out of all those groups, I considered only one group special to me. As to how I ended up being a part of that group, it all started with a chance meeting with an old friend through the Internet.
Donovan was someone I knew during my high school years. We did not meet so often back then, because he and I were from different classes. However, we are both aware of each other’s common interests in anime and music.
Who would’ve thought that I would meet him again through the godforsaken Internet?
During that time, I was browsing my timeline using my actual, personal Facebook account when I heard a ‘ping!’ notification sound. It was a message request from Donovan.
“Jennie, it’s me! You remember me, right?” read the message. “It’s Donovan. We went to the same school back in high school.”
I double-checked his profile before replying, “Yeah, I remember you. How did you find me?”
“Facebook suggested your profile because we shared mutual friends. Well, they were mostly your classmates.”
“Sounds fair,” I mentally cursed Facebook for having that feature before I quickly added, “Anyway, what’s up?”
“I was wondering if you could join my server at Discord,” Donovan answered. “Everyone there is pretty chill, and they like anime. You seemed pretty chill, and I remembered you like anime. You draw, too, right?”
“Yeah…,” was my exact reply to him, including that ellipsis.
“There are, like, two people in the server who draw, too. I’m sure you’ll get along with them, especially.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I promise!” Donovan added a grinning emoji. Afterward, he sent a link to his Discord server. “Just join here, if you want.”
At the time, I already had a Discord account. However, my username was based on the same random name I thought of before, and my icon is a character from a video game that I liked. Because of this, I was a bit hesitant to even click the link.
After a moment of thinking, I reluctantly sent a message, “I will join. Just don’t reveal my real name, yet to everyone else in the server, okay?”
As soon as I hit the ‘Send button,’ a strange feeling welled up in me. I felt my chest tighten, and I held my breath. I couldn’t think about breathing until Donovan finally replied.
“Don’t worry, dude. I’ll keep it a secret.” There is the OK hand sign emoji at the end of that message. “I mean, it’s your choice to keep your name private, anyway, so I’ll respect that.”
After reading his message, there was a sense of relief that rushed through me. I took a deep breath and sighed. I still couldn’t believe that we didn’t often meet during our high school years. Maybe, we would have been very close friends.
Smiling, I replied to his message. “Thanks a lot, Donovan. I really appreciate it.”
Reassured, I clicked the link to the Discord server with no hesitation. Eventually, I joined the server.
The moment I joined, everybody started welcoming me. Then, Donovan introduced me to everyone else, saying that I was his friend in real life.
“Welcome to the server, Ash!” chatted the username Ilya. “So, you and Donnie know each other IRL?”
“Kinda, yeah,” I replied. “We were batchmates, basically.”
“Woah, that’s cool! Pleased to meet you then.”
“Same here. Thanks for the warm welcome.”
“No, prob!”
“Ash’s an artist, by the way,” Donovan interjected in the middle of the chat. “By that, I mean a really good one.”
The chat was suddenly filled with emojis that seemed to indicate awe and surprise. One user, in particular, replied to that. They had a bad hand-drawn MS Paint of a character I don’t recognize.
“You draw, too, Ash?” the user in question, Pegasus, asked.
“Yeah,” I replied with a see-no-evil monkey emoji. “Just occasionally.”
“Can you send your drawings to the art channel? I wanna see your art.”
Even if no one could see my face right now, I couldn’t help but smile, “I’d love to.”
From then on, the conversation continued to carry on. I was able to learn and meet some of the active members at the time, and we were able to talk a lot about our interests and other things.
Back then, I learned a fascinating thing about the Internet: it brings together people with common interests, regardless of age, gender, race, sexual orientation, and other factors. As a result, these people form groups, and these groups become a safe haven for many.
This particular server became a safe haven for me, and I was grateful to be a part of it. I met a lot of great people and eventually became friends with them. There were even conversations about a meet-up, so everybody gets to see each other. Many people were even excited about hoping to see my face and eventually know my real name.
Until then, I continue to use the name “Ash Calliope” online. However, her personality, interests, hobbies, and skills are that of yours truly, Genevieve Ilagan.
#LATHEtirary
