Spartan BTS: 12 Types of Students Behind the Screen
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Months ago, you were there, begging your classmate just to give you a seat in the last row. It could be the best spot not to get caught if you found yourself wanting to sleep or nap, at least. Now, with muted mic and off-camera set-up, you have all the freedom to sit wherever you find yourself comfortable (with a fast connection, of course). You never know what your classmates are doing while the professors discuss the same way they don’t know about you.
For a glimpse, here are the 12 types of students behind the screen of online classes:
THE NIBBLER
Like in the regular face-to-face classes, the nibbler would never be out of the picture. They always have food– ranging from the simple crackers or biscuits even up to a very meal (yeah right, rice-eaters during classes exist). The only difference is that; you’d never be able to tell since you can’t see them in person; you can’t smell the enticing sour odor of Mang Juan; you can’t hear them as they chew or as they get something from the snack’s sensitive plastic wrapper.
THE DOCUMENTATION OFFICER
Usually filtered with the well-known glitter-effect feature in Instagram Stories, documentation officers are those who always upload a “mandatory” video, boomerang, or even a simple screen capture proving they’re “in class.” It may also include their study table with that little cactus plant on the corner, and a coffee cup beside the laptop. Some even have a notebook, a pen, and a highlighter just for props.
THE MULTITASKER
The ability of a browser to entertain several tabs at a time comes in handy for multitaskers. If you think that your classmates listen attentively to every detail your professor says, think again. Some might actually indulge in a vlog or movie they’re watching in another tab or scrolling through their feeds, browsing hurtful memes in the Subtle Clown Traits Facebook group, looking through people’s Instagram stories, and the like.
THE MOBILE ATHLETE
With their mobile phones on landscape orientation and using both thumbs powerfully, these mobile athletes or gamers are very thankful for muted microphones and turned-off web cameras. Instead of listening well to the lessons, they’ll be casually playing mobile games even with the professor discussing; be it a Road-to-Mythic game in Mobile Legends, a Classic Battle Royale in Player Unknown’s Battlegrounds, a Prop Hunt in Call of Duty Mobile, a thrilling game of being an Impostor in Among Us, beating Roxanne: the gym leader in Rustboro City in Pokemon Emerald, and many more.
THE DAY-DREAMER
Like the nibblers, the day-dreamers are seen even in the usual physical classes. They’re the ones who pretend to be there (well, physically they are) but are somewhere else in their dreams while asleep. They enter the [online] class, and once the attendance is checked, good night. Sometimes they try and can actually last an hour or so, but later on, again– good night.
THE NOBEL PRIZE AWARDEE
These students are the most looked-up to even in the normal set-up of classes. They are A.KA. “mga dakilang estudyante,” who listen in detail to what the professors discuss during classes. They’re the ones who download all the reference pdfs that your professors put in the syllabus, the ones who take-down notes, and the ones who raise questions in the middle of classes to clarify something they didn’t understand. Once called for recitation, they always answer correctly (they even volunteer for recitations sometimes).
THE TAKE-A-CHILL-PILL
As the name suggests, they’re the chill-type of students. They’re the ones who are simply there, casually listening to the professor’s lecture (not as attentive as the Nobel Prize Awardees, though) but also has the time to do other stuff like chat with some friends, keep count on the “Naintindihan Class?” uttered by the professor, and the like. They basically have a bit of each of every classification stated above. Once called for recitation, they can answer it simply, sometimes lacking but always correct.
THE OVERTHINKER
As the label says, it simply refers to those who think an awful much more than needed, to the point of going beyond several varied contexts. While the professor discusses the lesson, overthinkers tend to unconsciously stare at a tree outside the window and then overanalyze stuff– not just those things the professors utter, but things outside the box where the lesson is in; or even outside another box where the box containing the lesson is in. “Did I really choose the right program?” “Am I going to die alone?” “Did people think I’m fat with the dress I wore at my 18th birthday party?” “It’s been a while since my best friend and I talked, are we still good?”
THE HOLY
Praying hard with firmly closed eyes and an anxious heart, the Holies are the ones who constantly wish that there will be no recitation or a short quiz afterward. They also pray that there will no additional homework or research work to their pile of ‘academic to-do list.’ If ever there is a recitation (announced or unannounced), they pray hard for their names not to be called. The famous roulette trending lately in substitute with the feared index card system indeed makes your heart burst from nervousness, right?
THE RUNNER
The runners are the type of people who come in to attend the virtual classes amid being busy with a lot of stuff (like chores) at home. They’re usually the “utusan” in their family, who get suddenly busy running errands like, buy Magic Sarap from the nearby sari-sari store, cook rice for lunch, or make their baby sister stop from crying. They’re the ones who send you a chat: “Pag tinawag ako sa recitation, pakisabi kay Sir na may iniutos lang si Mama. Mag-notes ka ha tapos send mo na lang mamaya. Salamat!”
THE MUSHROOM
The Mushrooms are the ones who enter and leave the video conference unexpectedly. “The Mushroom joined,” “The Mushroom left,” “The Mushroom joined,” “The Mushroom left,”– making you feel like it is indeed the Christmas season with the series-lights-vibe. They’re usually the ones who have faulty internet connections, weak network signals, or sudden power interruptions.
THE UNSILENCED
If the classifications mentioned above are those people who have their web camera turned off and microphones muted, The Unsilenced students are the ones who totally forgot to do so. They get caught in action on what they are doing during online classes. Sometimes, the class hears their conversation with a family member on what to eat for lunch, sees them picking their nose, hears them sing to Taylor Swift songs, etc.
The pandemic has made a set-up in education where we have more distractions in front of us; be it the pizza your mom had just ordered, the notification of a new vlog from your favorite Youtuber, a room code that your friend had just sent to your group chat to play in Among Us, a simple chat from your bestie saying “Siz, guess what,” or the bed calling you to come rest in its comforting sheets. This virtual platform has just challenged us to ignore these interferences and keep our eyes on the prize of actual learning. Let me end this by wishing you good luck, mate; you’re going to need it.
One dot, and I’ll tell you which BTS vibe you give off.
