China Will Use Facial Recognition Technology to Remove Beautiful People From Factories

If you’re at a travel hub or a large event in China, chances are you’re being watched. With facial recognition technology, police have the ability to scan large crowds to find if there are any political dissidents, known troublemakers or even wanted criminals. While most of the attention surrounding facial recognition has been focused on law enforcement, Chinese labor authorities announced this week a strange new use for this controversial technology.

“With this program, China is set to become a world leader in beauty allocation,” said Mr. Gao Fu Shuai, Chairman of Labor Stuff, speaking to foreign press in Beijing. “Too many attractive people are wasting their talents doing the work of ugly people. Beautiful people should be seen, and now, thanks to facial recognition technology, we have the tools to plan our economy accordingly.”

According to a press package released by the Ministry of Labor Stuff, the first trials will check the photo database for state issued identification cards. Citizens deemed sufficiently attractive will be relocated and trained for positions where their innate talents are better suited — jobs such as weather reporters, salespeople and karaoke hosts.

The exact dimensions and characteristics for what the Ministry has deemed an “Ideal Communist” are classified, but leaked reports indicate that — in addition to classic metrics like symmetry and proportions — scientists have isolated the features most prevalent in those with submissive personalities, which is the most attractive personality trait for a Chinese citizen, according to the Ministry of Labor Stuff.

“This new program is not going to simply be a recruitment tool to find fashion models,” said Mr. Gao Fu Shuai. “This program will facilitate a culture where ugly people are kept together, away from attractive people. Workers naturally resent colleagues who are more beautiful, so by lowering the average attractiveness in our factories, mines and construction sites, we aim to increase the overall happiness of our society.”

This latest attempt at social engineering comes as human rights groups continue to attack China for its treatment of workers, claiming that many are subjected to slave-like conditions in its enormous factories.

“This is a big step toward eugenics,” said Lindsay Hornrim, spokesperson for Humans Are People, Too. “China already has problems with income disparity and class divide, and this will only exacerbate those issues. This is just another move to make life easier for the ruling elites. To manage their power, they must quantify and objectify the working class. In a world where factory workers can see the Instagram profiles of the idle rich, these kinds of societal control mechanisms become even more important.”

When The Lazy News contacted China’s Ministry of Labor Stuff for a comment on these concerns, their spokesperson replied with, “Sounds like something an ugly person would say.”

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