Playoff Preview: TBD Bowl Quarterfinals

Wildcard Weekend is in the books and we have a full slate of quarterfinal matches this weekend. The top 8 teams are here and the battle to play in TBD Bowl V starts now:

TBD Bowl Quarterfinals

#1 McLicker Lites (9–3) vs #8 Dixon(s) Out for Harambe (5–7)

• 2nd time meeting in the playoffs (2015)
• All-Time head-to-head record (including playoffs) — Dixon(s) Out for Harambe leads 2–1
• 2016: Dixon(s) Out def McLicker Lites (Week 5)
• 2015: McLicker Lites def Dixon(s) Out (TBD Bowl Quarterfinals)
• 2015: Dixon(s) Out def McLicker Lites (Week 5)

Dixon(s) Out for Harambe
2016 Record: 5–7 (4th in West of Van Ness Division)
Head Coach/Owner: Adam Rosenberg

• Previously reviewed, defeated Rmx to Toddnition in the wildcard round to advance here

McLicker Lites

2016 Record: 9–3 (1st in East of Van Ness Division)

Head Coach/Owner: Zachary McVicker

• Runner-up in TBD Bowl IV (2015)
• 5–1 at Week 6 after starting season 4–0. Continued momentum in 2nd half of season, going 4–2 in the process.
• Narrowly defeated by Dixon(s) Out in Week 5 thanks to Jacquizz Rodgers.
• 2nd season as new owner of the previously awful “Harrer Franchise” — team saw a rebirth and a 6 win turnaround last year (along with a #2 seed in the playoffs). Further improvement this year with a #1 seed.
• In two years in the league, the McLicker Lites are 17–7. Tied for most wins over that span with Feed the Zeke.
• Lowest points against in the league (1209.2)
• If McLicker Lites’ season was a wrestler, it’d be: Edge. Burst on scene and quickly rose the ranks with major successes in a short time. Took a floundering gimmick that seemed to be about vampires and turned himself into a crowd favorite. Great hair.

#4 Fitz A Kind of Magic (7–5) vs #5 Dak Pics (7–5)

• First ever playoff meeting
• Two of the top 4 scoring teams in the league
• All-Time head-to-head record (including playoffs) — Fitz a Kind of Magic leads 4–1
• 2016: Fitz a Kind of Magic def Dak Pics (Week 7)
• 2015: Dak Pics def Fitz a Kind of Magic (Week 7)
• 2014: Fitz a Kind of Magic def Dak Pics (Week 7)
• 2013: Fitz a Kind of Magic def Dak Pics (Week 7)
• 2012: Fitz a Kind of Magic def Dak Pics (Week 11)

Dak Pics
2016 Record: 7–5 (T-2nd in East of Van Ness Division)
Head Coach/Owner: Emil Sandoz-Rosado

• 2nd in league-leading player and QB (Drew Brees)
• 4–2 at Week 7, 3–3 the rest of the way
• 4th highest scoring team in the league, scored 100+ points in every win
• 2015 Erin Ruppe Memorial Trophy winner
• Vehemently anti-divisional structure. Outspoken and unapologetic about his feelings on league issues.
• Former roommate of Berg’s that no one in the league has ever actually met in real life
• If Dak Pic’s season was a wrestler, it’d be: CM Punk: Anti-establishment and any form of structure. Constant competitor who chimes in with “pipe bomb” level hilarious quips. Does jiu-jitsu. Could easily win a championship and walk out on the league with no hesitation.

Fitz a Kind of Magic
2016 Record: 7–5 (T-2nd in East of Van Ness Division)
Head Coach/Owner: Robert Yegiazaryan

• Brings a six-game winning streak into the playoffs, perfect 6–0 in 2nd half of the season
• Led league in scoring (1511.1) and captured his 2nd Erin Ruppe Memorial trophy as regular season points champion
• Scored 125+ points in two losses — wow
• Destroyed Dak Pics in Week 7 matchup, winning by 20
• (Allegedly) took advantage of IR loophole
• Former roommate (Todd) has been mired in mediocrity since a blockbuster trade last year
• If Fitz a Kind of Magic’s season was a wrestler, it’d be: Brock Lesnar. Absolutely dominating in victories and even dominating (to an extent) in defeat. Wins big or loses close — showing that he is a force to be reckoned with. Takes advantage of part-time status loophole to only show up at big pay-per-views and has his manager do the talking for him.

#3 Succulent Crabsky (8–4) vs #6 Feed The Zeke (6–6)

• 3rd playoff meeting. Teams are tied 1–1 all-time in the playoffs.
• All-Time head-to-head record (including playoffs) — Feed the Zeke leads 4–3
• 2016: Feed the Zeke def Succulent Crabsky (Week 9)
• 2015: Succulent Crabsky def Feed the Zeke (TBD Bowl Quarterfinals)
• 2015: Feed the Zeke def Succulent Crabsky (Week 9)
• 2014: Feed the Zeke def Succulent Crabsky (TBD Bowl Semifinals)
• 2014: Feed the Zeke def Succulent Crabsky (Week 9)
• 2013: Succulent Crabsky def Feed the Zeke (Week 9)
• 2012: Succulent Crabsky def Feed the Zeke (Week 8)

Feed The Zeke
2016 Record: 6–6 (3rd in West of Van Ness Division)
Head Coach/Owner: Dave Halverson

• Suffered humiliating opening day loss to Dixon(s) Out, losing by nearly 70 points. Went 6–3 after that. Closed season with 2 straight losses.
• Single greatest regular season of all-time (11–1 heading into the playoffs) was shattered in 2015 by Succulent Crabsky in the TBD Bowl Quarterfinals so there’s a rivalry here.
• One of the only teams to acquire a player during the off-season, keep him, and actually leverage him as a main player on the team (Kirk Cousins).
• Finished 1–3 against teams with sub .500 records. 3–3 against teams with above .500 records. Essentially won the games he shouldn’t have won and lost the games he shouldn’t have lost.
• Highlight of season was watching Cubs win the World Series
• If Feed the Zeke’s season was a wrestler, it’d be: Rey Mysterio Jr. Lost to some guys he shouldn’t have lost to, but beat some guys no one expected — including a surprising championship run. One of a select view to go #1 in the Royal Rumble and win it. Quite literally had his knee kicked out from under him. Very close to a dead wrestler who did a lot of drugs.

Succulent Crabsky
2016 Record: 8–4 (2nd in West of Van Ness Division)
Head Coach/Owner: Andy Lutzky

• Reigning TBD Bowl Champion having failed at a fire sale becoming the first team to win the TBD with a below .500 record during the regular season
• 2nd highest scoring team in league (1465)
• Owner of the league-leading WR (Antonio Brown)
• Streaky — Opened season with 4 straight wins, followed that with 3 straight losses. Finished season with 3 straight wins.
• If Succulent Crabsky’s season was a wrestler, it’d be: John Cena — The champ is here. Able to pull off a string of dominating victories or a few losses for the good of league parity at the drop of a hat. Likes to wave hand in face. Loves jorts.

#2 Youngstown Gangstas (9–3) vs #7 Jeepers Keepers (6–6)

• 2nd Playoff meeting. Met in last year’s Harrer Cup.
• All-Time head-to-head record (including playoffs) — Series tied 3–3.
• 2016: Youngstown Gangstas def Jeepers Keepers (Week 9)
• 2015: Jeepers Keepers def Youngstown Gangstas (Harrer Cup)
• 2015: Youngstown Gangstas def Jeepers Keepers (Week 9)
• 2014: Youngstown Gangstas def Jeepers Keepers (Week 9)
• 2013: Jeepers Keepers def Youngstown Gangstas (Week 9)
• 2012: Jeepers Keepers def Youngstown Gangstas (Week 9)

Jeepers Keepers
2016 Record: 6–6 (4th in East of Van Ness Division)
Head Coach/Owner: Sam Rosenberg

• Previously reviewed, defeated Cobby Asians in the wildcard round to advance here

Youngstown Gangstas
2016 Record: 9–3 (1st in West of Van Ness Division)
Head Coach/Owner: Dan Klempay

• 2015 and 2013 Harrer Cup winner
• 6-win swing between 2015 and 2016. Tied for biggest season-to-season win increase in league history (McLicker Lites did it 2014–2015).
• Per Harrer Cup stipulations, was named “DooDoo CumFudge” for first 9 weeks of season.
• Was 9–1 at Week 10 and called out that other teams trade him their best players so they could get on board with his seemingly unstoppable championship train. Then lost 2 straight.
• Outspoken critic of league rules. Not really into compromise.
• If Youngstown Gangstas’ season was a wrestler, it’d be: Hollywood Hulk Hogan.Part of one of the greatest character turns in history. Polarizing athlete. You’re either with him or against him. Backstage issues with Shawn Michaels resulted in this.