RUMORS: RB1 Reportedly Upset, Expects to Be Traded

San Francisco — Dixon(s) Out for Harambe team captain and league MVP, RB David Johnson is reportedly upset with team management and appears to be on his way out. The Arizona RB, who led all non-QBs in scoring this season with 384.8 points, was the only player absent from the team’s end of year dinner at the Chevy’s in SOMA this past Monday and was a no-show at his scheduled rehab session on his strained MCL this morning.

“I think Davey, is frustrated — we’re all a little frustrated,” Dixon(s) Coach Adam Rosenberg told reporters. “He’s a competitor and he likes to compete. It’s frustrating. I don’t read into it. He’s a firey guy. He’s actually a redhead. That’s how firey he is.”

RB David Johnson seen here doing very well on a really shitty team.

Johnson would bring incredible value to whatever team he plays for in 2017. He has one year left of keeper eligibility, will cost only a 7th to activate that final year of keeper clock, and has put up numbers that make him the early consensus #1 overall player in next year’s draft. While his value is unquestioned, the cost may be high as surely any deal involving the RB will need to include a first round pick at least.

While representatives from Dixon(s) have denied shopping Johnson around, sources say that the team has had preliminary discussions with several teams including the McLicker Lites, Succulent Crabsky and Fitz a Kind of Magic. The Magic are rumored to be the frontrunners, having reportedly offered a package that includes a 1st round pick in 2017, a 2nd in 2018 and WR Jordy Nelson (who also is entering the final year of his keeper eligibility). Crabsky would be an interesting landing spot for Johnson, with Coach Lutzky dangling QB Marcus Mariota and picks.

One darkhorse team in the mix is Dave Halverson’s Feed the Zeke. Halverson has long coveted the RB, who he originally drafted in the 9th round of 2015 and later waived in week 9. He was scooped up by Coach Berg and went on to dominate the 2nd half of the 2015 season.

Wherever he lands, it appears likely that the man known as “DJ” to his friends and teammates is unlikely to be “Out for Harambe” much longer.