The Blip

By Levie Julianne L. Martin

It was the break of dawn, and the day was nearing after a night of books, coffee, and video lectures. Under the lamp’s light, Mina shone a pale coral as she stared at the unsolvable problem, daring her to return to the grips of a breakdown. Looking up, the doodled capital letter M given by her blockmates stared back, and a newfound courage boiled within her.

Three deep breaths, she thought, and continued with the ritual that never failed to alleviate her worries. Three shuddering sighs were all it took to snap her from the trance of falling victim to yet another night of self-doubt. Three was all it took for her to regain the strength to go on for the day.

Deep breaths, she started, inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale, inhale…

She stilled, her mind blanking at the familiar rhythm as if a storm ensued inside her, filling and emptying her all at once. Confusion crept over her like a shroud refusing to fade; it was like being dared to escape a dark room that you knew inside out, but the fear of bumping into anything foreign grounded you to stay in your place.

‘Inhale, exhale… good,’ she maundered, ‘inhale, exhale… okay, inhale,’ she continued, bracing herself for the satisfaction of finding what you’re looking for, but nothing, the third breath slipping through her thoughts like sand through hands no matter how much you grapple.

Panic surged within her chest, gravity finding its steady grip on her shoulders, a lump refusing to be swallowed in her throat, and a cold knot tightening in her stomach at the sudden lapse. How could she forget something so fundamental, so basic, so essential? Her predicament was so simple, yet it started to feel distant, like a forgotten dream.

Mina closed her eyes and shut them tight, coaxing every tendril of her consciousness as she tried to summon the piece she was missing. When she thought she was getting closer, the elusive thought stubbornly went farther.

Fear clawed at her insides as she grappled with the implications of her loss.

Did this mark the beginning of something more sinister, a sign that deeper troubles were lurking within her mind?

Or was this simply a trick of fatigue, a momentary lapse brought on by the inevitable limitations of our physical being?

Like the first rays of sunlight peering through her window, her trembling fingers reached for a notepad and a pen, determined to document her epiphany the moment it came back to her. She had faith that it would rush back to her soon; she really did.

Aligning the tip of the pen to her thoughts, she scribbled:

One, two, five… no, she shook her head and tore the page.

One, two, four… no, she scratched her head in frustration as she moved on to the next page.

One, two, seven… NO! she exclaimed, slamming the desk with her closed fist, and the letter M gracefully fell to the ground. With a groan, she bent to retrieve the piece of paper, but the writing was sideways, causing it to resemble…

THE NUMBER THREE!

The realization struck her with the force of a blow: her world had gone back to its former state, or perhaps, something shifted, but she couldn’t put a finger on it. The apprehension crumbled beneath her feet like fragile sandcastles swept away by the tide, and in that moment of clarity, Mina immediately took her three deep breaths. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. And hoped that it wouldn’t slip away again.