Building a “Safe Room” in My Life and Heart — Inauguration Thoughts
Stealth survival for the Trump years
When my daughters entered their mid-teens and I understood that bad decision-making was probably on the horizon, I adopted a mantra that I repeated for them in every applicable circumstance. It went like this: My love for you is unconditional and forever. There is nothing you can do that will make me not love you. My resources, on the other hand, are completely conditional. I will not pay for, or invest in, anything that I do not see as “In Your Best Interest.” Full stop.
What followed were many discussions as to whether I would or would not pay for a decision they made. Whether it was a college course they were not going to get credit for, an auto repair, or a trip to visit a boyfriend, it had to pass the test. Yes, I would always love them. No, I was not paying for that.
I head into the Trump administration with a similar mindset. I did not vote for this, I do not approve of anything he ran on, and I will not pay for or invest in anything that is not in the best interest of people I care about, including myself.
I will continue to love the people in my life and world whom I have always supported. My love is unconditional. My resources, however, are completely conditional. I will make my decisions over the next four years based on what I think is in the best interest of my chosen people and values.
Energy and Attention Resources
I will spend my energy and attention in areas where there is a chance for Return on Investment.
This will include any media I consume. My attention will be spent on independent media that trade in truth and complexity, not sound bites and clicks.
I will not spend energy listening to Trump supporters either complain about his actions or celebrate them. I am practicing saying, “Yeah, I did not vote for that, and I don’t support it. Have a nice day.”
I will not engage online or in real life with people who want to make the case that this is good for the country. It’s not. He’s not. Again, have a nice day.
I will use my energy and attention as part of The Opposition. (I like “opposition” rather than “resistance” because it implies agency and not just reaction.) I will oppose egregious actions by writing to my legislators, posting on this blog, demonstrating if I feel called to do so, stating my progressive values in any context where they are being disparaged.
I will use social media sparingly. I’ve already cancelled my X account, and am poised to do so with others if my feed becomes a swamp of zero value to me. If social media keeps me connected to my tribe, I’ll allow myself limited time. If not, I’ll cancel. (I know how to block, and I’m not afraid to buh-bye the energy vampires.)
I will invest my energy and attention in things with terrific ROI. Walking the dog, watching movies with my wife, hanging out with my grandchildren, conversations with my daughters, quilting, writing, traveling, dancing, and spending time with hilarious, openhearted friends. I will teach writing to middle-schoolers and talk on the phone with distant buddies.
I will read novels when I should be working.
I will sleep as much as I need to.
Financial Resources
Since I feel that the corporate media have betrayed us entirely by sanewashing and downplaying the danger of Trump, they will not be on the list. I have unsubscribed to major newspapers. I have signed up for substacks and newsletters of independent journalists who do not whitewash the facts and who reflect my values.
Understanding that tariffs and deportations will raise the cost of just about everything, and knowing how this administration deals with pandemics (Bird flu, anyone?) I will invest in whatever I would have trouble getting parts for when that pesky old supply chain is disrupted again. This includes a new, reliable car (also good ROI for traveling in relative safety from other people’s microorganisms). Any devices I was going to replace in the next couple of years I will buy now, since Chinese goods (and they are all Chinese goods) will be overpriced, if we can get them at all. It’s the right time for home repairs and comfortable furniture, since I don’t anticipate leaving the living room most nights.
What I used to spend on newspapers and clothing, I will invest in those organizations protecting the people I care about. Planned Parenthood, The Southern Poverty Law Center and the ACLU are on the list. Local food banks (If we can’t afford the $20 eggs once the flocks are wiped out, how will marginal families?). Nonprofits and volunteer groups that refuse to capitulate to the Trump agenda will be in the running for my money.
At least until they take away my Social Security.
Spiritual Resources
To survive the next several years I will commit to only spiritual practices that nourish me. This includes meditation and yoga, natch. But also walks in nature, time with friends who are also walking the middle ground with as much grace as they can muster, and group gatherings celebrating healing, not hating.
I will follow Christian writers who have not taken the “Christ” out of their worldview. I will follow Buddhist writers and teachers who show me how to deal with today — this moment of today.
I will listen to music that reminds me who I am. That stirs emotions and sensations that I may or may not be able to name. I will dance to this music like no one is watching — because no one will be watching. (You’re welcome.)
I will share my spiritual energy with people who come into my day, as needed. An ear for the bank teller, a smile for the toddler in the grocery cart in front of me, a book recommendation for a yoga friend.
I will share my anxieties with my therapist, and she will spin that straw into spiritual gold.
And when my vigor flags, I will withdraw and replenish.
My “Safe Room” will not be made of concrete and lumber, but, if I build it strong, it will allow me to survive the disastrous conditions that I see barreling toward us.
How about you? Will you be building a safe house for yourself? Please tell me in the comments about your blueprint for survival. Let’s trade ideas and help each other thrive.
