Tariff Wars

Fuming President Donny Wants Walmart to Just Eat It

Are we in a warped Weird Al Yankovic video?

Donny wants you to just Eat It, Eat It! Get yourself an egg and beat it! But you can’t afford eggs, so too bad! | Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Donny is angry. At Vladdy? He won’t listen to Donny and make a deal with Ukraine. With his Middle East grift tour? No. He made a lot of money. At judges’ rulings against him? Well. But that’s old news. No. His latest fury is at Walmart.

He still doesn’t know how tariffs work.

Walmart is raising its prices. They say they’re forced to. And it’s Donny’s fault.

Donny said,

Donny wants Walmart to “EAT THE TARIFFS?” Has Donny the great businessman ever EATEN costs?

Remember how Donny felt about the word “tariff?” It’s “the most beautiful word in the dictionary.” We guess Walmart has a different opinion.

Damn! We go to Walmart for Chinese-made cheap stuff! They’re a substantial source for clothing, electronics, and toys. Where will we get our Reeboks and Barbies? But only one Barbie.

No matter what happens, we’ll blame Donny. He started it.

Donny is trying to tell companies how they should run their businesses. Sorry, Donny. You don’t have that kind of power. Don’t make me repeat it! Free market! Walmart can raise its prices if it wants to. Don’t…