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In Honor of Mother’s Day, Here Are 10 Tips for Trump on How to Avoid Assaulting Women
And being sued for $83 million like E. Jean Carroll did!
3 min readMay 11, 2025
- If you find a woman alone in a dressing room, elevator, or any other place, don’t “move on her like a bitch.”
- If taking women out furniture shopping makes you uncontrollably horny, let women buy their own furniture from now on.
- If popping Tic Tacs gives you a Pavlovian urge to assault women, switch to a different mint or candy treat.
- If your best friend frequently invites you to parties with underage girls that he pays for sexual favors, stop attending his parties, flying to his private island, or just stop being friends with him altogether.
- Aim higher on your financial goals. If you really focus on saving your money so you can reach a higher ranking on the Forbes list of billionaires, you’ll likely decide it’s not worth it to risk paying more $83.3 million lawsuits for assaulting women and then defaming them afterwards.
- When out in public, occasionally remind yourself that other people do not like to hear dirty men say “locker room talk” or sexually suggestive things about their own daughters.
- Remember that women’s locker rooms and bathrooms are for women…
