A RARE “TRUTHFUL” POST FROM A DEMOCRAT
Thank You for Working, Republican
We are grateful and appreciative
When the money hits the account, I’d thank God if only I believed.
I enjoy life. I’d be scribbling on a scrap of cardboard from behind the liquor store if it wasn’t for the top-of-the-line phone you helped me get. So I thought I’d use it to let you know how I’m doing and send my thanks. I want you to know how much I appreciate you and your work.
I may not get this thank you done right away since it seems a lot like work, and I certainly don’t do much of that. Work is for Republicans, you know? I’m not capable of hard work like you.
And there is no good reason to work. You’ve provided me with this fabulous life of leisure, tax-free and work-free. The percentage of your wages that goes to support those like me is such a kind and thoughtful thing for you to provide. Thank you again.
But it’s not all roses. I’ve had to make sacrifices. EBT is great, but only covers the cost of lobster once in a while. Oh, well. I’ll suck it up and make do. Shrimp is pretty darn good, too.
The children and I have been getting along fine, but sometimes things get tight, so I’m thinking about popping out another kid. Gotta love those little guys. They’re quite valuable when it comes to government assistance, and really not that much of a bother when the rest of the brood is old enough to help change diapers that you’ve helped buy. Besides, I’m usually in a too much of a druggy stupor to do the deed.
And soon after the girls become women, they’ll add their own kids to the clan. We’re one big happy family, single mothers all, with no idea where the fathers have gone. It’s just the way life works, and we thank you for making it so.
And thanks also for making sure your own children join the services to protect our American way of life. And even if the kids don’t wear uniforms, we know you’ll protect us all with your own personal arsenals. We just can’t imagine what life would be like if undesirables were in a position to tell us what to do.
It’s you, your weapons, and your tax dollars that make our comfortable lives possible. I’d thank God, but who needs God when we have Republicans? Bless you all.
Sorry that we need to vote for the Democrats. We have to be sure that the money keeps rolling in. But we know where it all comes from.
What a great country! I think I’ll go to the beach now.
