Political Satire

Welcome to the Rock! Alcatraz Island Is a Prison Again!

President Donny’s Rockin’ Tourist Prisoner Adventure

President Donny wants to turn the tourist attraction back into a functioning prison. How much money will that cost us? | Photo by Chris Cooper on Unsplash

It’s the grand opening of the Donald J. Trump Alcatraz Prison Experience!

He’s fulfilled his promise. “We will not hesitate to lock up the most dangerous criminals, and keep them away from anyone they could harm.”

Sort of?

Donny’s “vicious, violent, and repeat criminal offenders, the dregs of society who will never contribute anything other than misery and suffering,” have been transferred to the island prison.

For a great adventure?

Mad President Donny turned Alcatraz back into a prison. Sure.

Thanks to a billion-dollar taxpayer-funded renovation. And Donny got rid of Medicaid, Medicare, Social Security, and Veterans Benefits to pay for it. You thought a military parade was expensive! Hah!

Radicalized judges will no longer slow down my effort to jail criminals! No more due process BS!

But California protested. They love their tourist trap, err, attraction. And the revenue.

So there was a compromise. The Island is also a still tourist attraction. Tourists must sign waivers.