Local Man Self-Isolating Unless You’re ‘Up For Something Later’
A local man has taken to self-isolation for the next 7 days following a headache and sore throat. However, he’s very happy to meet you at your place or his, if you’re ‘up for something later’. The man, known only as Patient Ω, has taken his first few days of self-isolation to contact everyone he knows just to check what they’re doing between the hours of ‘late’ and ‘later’.
From one depraved room, Patient Ω tries to flog his unappealing wares. He has been keen to stress that Coronavirus isn’t the virus you should be worried about catching from him. Even if he is infected, he’s assured that ‘It won’t last anywhere near 15 minutes anyway, never has, never will… So you’ll be fine, love.’ If you know this man, please do not fall for his tricks and call 111 immediately.
Will Rowan
