New Phone Glitch Autocorrects 'Pan' to 'Ping'

Apple and Google today released a joint statement confirming the discovery of a new bug autocorrecting the word 'Pan' to 'Ping'. The glitch, tragically affecting the phones of Twitter journalists at a disproportionate rate, was first discovered by amateur chef Burt Huckler. 'I was texting my wife that I was about to put some sausages in the pan' said a distressed Burt 'then I get a thousand replies from her asking "who the hell is Ping, why are you putting meat in them?". Our argument made me bring up my pansexuality, which now you can imagine just made things worse.'

Importantly, both companies are reporting that the glitch does not affect 'pan' if the letters are part of another word, so unfortunately we still have no fucking clue why so many people are blaming the current crisis on an app.