Lets Talk About Sex
I remember, I was in 10th standard and it was the last week of school. There were only around 15 students in the class that day. This one boy found a sanitary napkin/pad in his friend’s bag and he started yelling some bizarre comments on periods and hygiene products. She was embarrassed, he thought that this was funny, but in truth it was just immature of him.
Such incidents happen almost every day with some or the other girl. We were all 14 or 15 at the time at which age basic knowledge of menstruation is must for guys as well. Sex education is not just about sexual intercourse or sexual relationships; it is much more than that. Sex education as a programme also includes questions pertaining to puberty and reproduction.people will point out that “what are you talking about, there was a chapter in our textbooks about that”. Talking about a crucial topic under one small chapter or reading about it from an educational curriculum should not be considered ‘sex education’. Schools and colleges in other countries include sex education in their curriculum and understand that it plays a vital role in growth and development of a child. This is a very rare possibility in a country like India where talking openly about sex and sex education is considered the biggest taboo.
Things are slowly changing, of course, but to what degree? We are living in an urban city and thus we can notice the change, but India is a vast country with about 70% of its population living in rural areas. A large number of youth in both cities and rural regions are still not aware about the changes an individual of the opposite sex goes through during puberty. The main reason behind this is lack of communication.
I had gone to watch a movie with my family where this young girl, who must have been around 10 years old, saw a poster of the movie “Pad-man”. Out of curiosity she asked her mom what he was holding. Instead of answering the question, her mom shushed her and told her not to ask such questions as she was still too young.
I was not very surprised by such a reaction but it still pinched me somewhere. Parents are said to be a child’s first teachers and if they only dodge these questions, then where will a child get the correct answers? We think that ignoring them will make them stop asking such questions, but the truth is their curiosity will increase day by day and they will start searching for answers in other places, which may or may not give them the right answers. Furthermore, with growing technology and easy access to the internet, one can be exposed to violent or pornographic content. This can easily mislead a person who has no idea what they are getting into. In order to prevent this, parents should stop ignoring and start educating their children on these topics.
Another aspect of sex education is identifying sexuality, sexual orientation and gender identity. Personally, I don’t remember getting to know about these topics from my parents. These concepts are well explained to an 8 or 10-year-old in many other countries. There are many people who are not aware of their sexuality or their sexual orientation, many people who have spent their whole lives “adjusting” to their sexuality or gender identities, which are actually assigned to them by others. The LGBTQIA+ movement has highlighted this issue and has bought it into the daylight, but how long did it take us to take a simple step? Sex education is the key to making people more aware and open about these topics. It will also help us to accept people as they are and embrace this positive change.
Sex education also help individuals to navigate through their own sexual health and their relations with their partner/s. It will help teenagers and young adults turn into mature, responsible and gender sensitive adults. Normalising open conversation about sex and various contraceptives will lead us towards practicing safe sex and better family planning. According to a 2013 report published by the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), around 7.3 million mothers in India are below the age of 18 and I think that there is one main reason behind this: a lack of education and proper guidance, which can lead to violent acts of sexual assault and rape. This is very common in today’s day and age, where the crime rates for harassment and sexual assaults have increased for both women and men. This lack of education can also lead to a lack of awareness about protection and various forms of contraceptives.
Another report in the same year stated that, the average age of losing virginity in India is 16 years, which is parallel with other parts of the world. So my main concern is, if this is true, then why are we not talking about the necessary steps one needs to take for their own protection at the age of 16? Lack of proper sex education and awareness not only increases the chances of unplanned pregnancy but also puts an individual at a higher risk of contracting STDs and STIs.
So what can we do?
Let us start with the basics and educate ourselves and try to address the growing curiosities in young minds. We cannot blame our education system completely. We need to first address this at our own homes. That being said, we should definitely bring about changes in the way sex education is treated in our schools and colleges and come up with more comprehensive plans and programmes.
The second thing we can do is to use the internet for good educational sites, like Agents of Ishq and Talking About Reproductive and Sexual Health Issues (TARSHI) which talk about sex education and also answer various questions relating to the same. Another thing which I personally recommend is a short web series on YouTube called Sex chat with Pappu and Papa. You should also check out the mini-series by Vitamin Stree, called CenSex. These are a few initiatives taken by people and definitely point towards a positive change. Please do check out these resources.
Let’s quit being shy and talk about sex.
Kreena Mehta
