Absent
October 26, 2009: Senior Year of High School
I was using the bathroom.
Daddy said something through the door.
“Can you repeat that?
He said it again.
“I don’t know what you’re saying.”
He put his mouth to the door and I heard him:
“Why were you absent from one or more of your classes last week?”
“I wasn’t…did it say what class it was?”
“You know damn well it didn’t. Open up this door so I can punch you in the
face.”
(Oh yeah. THAT’S a great way to get me to open the door.
Fucking psycho.)
But I opened it anyway.
And he almost hit me-
but I stepped back
(and almost fell into my tub).
I could see it in his eyes,
the quick flash of lightning
that made my heart sink.
He continued to question me, although the only explanation I could give
was that I was taking my
Senior Photos during 6th period Oceanography.
But no, he and Mommy continued their
senseless harangue and then brought the party to my bedroom.
My bedroom.
You know, the one with the
“No Negativity Zone” sign right there on the door…
but whatever.
So, Daddy’s standing in my doorway,
talking about how I’m just a useless pile of shit
(well, at least he said pile this time, not piece),
and meanwhile, Mommy begins to go through
the contents on the top of my dresser.
She asked me what every pass from school was,
even the one I had accidentally picked up that was actually meant
for Lexie Coulson
(that caused yet another controversy).
Then she began to read my notes-
notes that I’d meant to trash,
but forgot or couldn’t find the time.
Notes that contained jokes and other little insiders
between me and Kevin Buckles-
one of my best friends since Freshman year-
that she wouldn’t understand and most likely
misinterpret.
Which she did, of course.
And even worse?
When I asked her not to read MY stuff,
Daddy decided to intervene
and get all up in my goddamn face about how I better not
EVER tell my mother not to read my stuff,
because everything that’s mine, is theirs.
Bullshit.
He was so close to me; I just wanted to spit on him.
Hock a big, gooey loogie right across his face.
I just wanted to spit on him.
