Talking Doesn’t Always Help

October 27, 2009: Senior Year of High School

I talked to Ms. Boyko today.

And well, I reckon some things

about my life

just kinda “spilled out.”

I don’t know…I was just talking and talking and talking

and neither she nor Melanie Houston stopped me.

And then, when i finally DID shut up,

I felt completely naked.

And then I got one of Ms. B’s

one-of-a-kind speeches that are always so helpful…

except today.

Not even a bit.

And it’s not her, it’s me.

Cliche, right? Oh well.

Honestly, I don’t want anybody’s damn sympathy.

I don’t want hugs and words of kindness and encouragement-

those things are like strangers to me now.

I don’t want anybody to tell me that things will be okay,

because they WON’T.

When I cry, I want to cry ALONE.

Stop holding on.

Let me go!

What the fuck are you waiting for?!

Everyone else has left-

why should you be any different?