The Reason They Don’t Make FJ Cruisers Anymore

The four of us are sitting close at the bar table that Coulton and I decided to buy after a three-continuous-hour conversation debating the merits of a table that is, unbelievably, both this tall and this small. It’s sometime in the morning, and we’re discussing our nights.

“So, I was trying to cross the street and almost got hit by this FJ Cruiser. All you,” I gesture to Jason, “had to say at the time was, ‘Hey man, I like FJ Cruisers.’” Coulton asks, “You mean the cars that look like Tonka Toys?” “Oh yeah. I just feel like, when I look at an FJ Cruiser, it can just take anything,” Jason answers, “like, it could just be driving around in a hurricane. That’s the kind of car that, if I were the CEO of Toyota, and someone showed that design to me, I’d be like, ‘Go ahead.’”

“You know they don’t make them anymore,” Coulton says. “Yeah,” Jason on the rebound, “because they sold too many. Toyota said, ‘We can’t keep making these cars. They’re selling too well.’”

Nikki quietly eats her lemon cake that, the whole time, I’ve been really wanting to eat.