The Lighter Side

At first I wanted to call this series: “She spends too much time on the internet to try to escape her spiralling depressive cycles”, but the Lighter Side is probably more catchy and less sad.

It feels like a lightning strike on a clear day. A terrifying, dooming ball of horrid energy that hits you on a cloudless day. And as you lay paralyzed on the grass, still reeling from the initial punch, the sky turns instantly black and rain pours down on you with the malicious intent of drowning you.

This is what a depressive spiral feels like. Sometimes it comes out of nowhere and sometimes everywhere. Sometimes it feels like a self-contained pop and sometimes it feels like an apocalypse. Sometimes it feels like your emotions are draining down a kitchen sink and sometimes it feels like a giant whirlpool that is sucking you down into a bottom of an ocean.

But it is always just an emotion. It may not seem like it at the time. At the time, it may seem like it is going to last forever. That the cycles will repeat for weeks, or months. That the sun never comes to shine. That the rain turns from a drizzle to a thunderous storm.But I promise you, it is an emotion that will pass. Some will be easier than others.

The Lighter Side is the project I have started to bring some sunlight into a thunderstorm. It is a collection of essays, lists, glitter explosions, failed cooking attempts, and a thousand other little things that has made me smile. I share them here in the hopes that someone out there will find it useful. If my imaginary animal drawings makes you smile, it will be worth it. If my stories of burning soup makes you laugh, it will be worth it. If my glitter and glue covered hands makes you wonder what kind of silly person is this, it will have been worth it.

As an ending note, I would like to thank all the people in my life my life that has made me smile. My family. My friends. The dog down the road. The man that gave me a hug while I cried. The woman who spent a good part of her morning talking about the specific concavity of spoons with me. Thank you. You are such a blessing. And from the bottom of my heart, I can not thank you enough.

“Be a rainbow in someone else’s cloud” — Maya Angelou