3 subtle ways of ending your date early
The first date is always interesting because you never know what to expect from the other person. Some dates totally flip upside down and you desperately want it to end. Personally, I don’t like ending dates with the typical, “I gotta wake up early, lets call it a night” routine, that is so boring. I live for making scenarios absolutely awkward, so why not take advantage of an encounter where you never have to see that person again? Here are ways you can amusingly end this night without going home completely bored. And really, this will make for a phenomenal story the next morning:
- Reference everything back to your dad
If you want to totally cock-block this guy, mixing your dad in the conversation on the first date is probably the best way you to do it. Regardless of the relationship you have with your dad, even if you don’t have a dad, talk about him with your date. If he’s nothing like your dad, explain why… i.e.: “See I’m so glad you said that, because my dad….” or “If my dad were here right now, he would totally agree with you.”
2. Compare him/her to a cartoon character
This weird thing happens, when you say, “You know who you remind me of?” But when someone starts to say that, you think they’re gonna compare you to a celebrity you could physically look like. Well I have news, I got compared to Sandy Cheeks one time. SANDY FUCKING CHEEKS??!! Yeah, I was out in five minutes. Although squirrel does run in my family. I recently found that out on Family Ancestry. I totally forgot to bring my astronaut suit too. So in closing, this will work really well.
3. Use your beverage as a dipping sauce for your food.
This is the last straw, you need to perform this one really well so ease into it. That just sounded like I was coaching a cop to go undercover. But ANYWAY, I’m sure you’ve never done this before so tell them you are curious and “have always wanted to try this.” You may be wondering if I’ve done this. To answer your question, I’m ashamed, but yes. This guy and I were meeting for the first time and grabbed lunch. Side note, if you’re meeting someone for the first time, don’t grab a bite with them. Stick to coffee. But I wanted to improvise this one with what was laid out on the table. So I dipped chicken into my iced tea. It only took me a couple times to do that and lucky for me, he said, “Hey, I’m really sorry I gotta get going I have to meet up with a client last minute.” I could have really done anything. Yet, I took action to do something a four year old would do.
Going on a lot of first dates really does suck. So if you want to have a little fun with yourself so you don’t fall asleep or vomit at the table, do this. Or something else! Leave a comment below and share your bright and shining moments on from your first dates!!
