10 Signs You’re Not In A Serious Relationship
Originally published at lmt-lss.com on November 24, 2015.
You’ve called 1000 times. Your partner hasn’t picked up. You get the clue.
There are certain times in a relationship where we know and we feel something isn’t right. It’s a nagging feeling, as if you’re coasting through something but not actually feeling the excitement of being with someone. You’ve agreed upon the fact that this is a serious thing but it doesn’t feel like that. Here are 10 signs to help figure it out.
1. You adjust far too much.
Adjustment is a two-way street. If your partner says they are adjusting when they aren’t when it comes to seeing each other or doing something together, it isn’t serious because they aren’t listening to you at all.
2. You barely know each other.
You’ve been together for a while but you barely know anything about your partner. If this were serious, you’d know some pretty embarrassing things already.
3. You only hang out with each other.
Your friends or your partner’s friends never factor into any of your plans. It’s the both of you and nobody else. If it has to be a secret, it’s not serious.
4. There’s a hierarchy.
You are always following them. Whatever they decide is final and agreed upon. Even relationships have a democracy. One that doesn’t is not a serious one at all. It’s just a controlling one.
5. You don’t talk about serious stuff.
Serious, deep conversations are a staple in relationships. If that’s not happening between your partner and you, it’s definitely not serious.
6. You’re scared to speak honestly.
When it’s not serious, you’re afraid the slightest thing you say will ruin what you already have. You know it’s not serious so move over.
7. Physical stuff?
Relationships can’t exist with physical intimacy and a lack of emotional intimacy. When it’s not serious, you’re constantly under pressure for the former. That’s never a good sign.
8. There’s a serious lack of control.
You have no control over anything — decisions about meeting each other, where to get dinner, what to do over the weekend — it’s all your according to your partner. Last time I checked, relationships weren’t a dictatorship.
9. You don’t know their best friends.
If you’re not a psycho killer, you probably have a best friend, even if they aren’t in the same city as you. And if you haven’t met that friend, chances are you never will.
10. You’re not valued.
Relationships exist on the value and respect we have for one another. And if you’re not getting any of it, your partner definitely doesn’t consider your relationship serious.
What you deserve, if any of this is true, is a sign that says exit. Get out now.