
One Step Closer: Remembering Chester
I found out about Chester’s passing hours after the news was published. And I remember when Michael Jackson passed away in 2009. Anyone who knows me knows that I am a HUGE MJ fan, yet I remember having a bit of a subdued response. Don’t be mistaken, I was saddened to hear the news of Michael’s passing, but when my wife texted me about the death of the lead singer of Linkin Park…it was different.
The inner city tends to have little love for those of us who had diverse tastes, at least in my experience. Similarly, I found myself frequently battling thoughts of suicide — not a popular discussion within the black community. My fandom of Linkin Park was mostly kept to myself throughout high school, but believe me when I say, it got me through.
You have no idea how many times I’ve had to sing Chester’s lyrics to myself, just as a reminder that I wasn’t the only one who felt the way I did.
Similar to the thing that I loved about Michael Jackson as an entertainer, I loved Chester’s energy. My dad would constantly refer to Linkin Park, Evanescence, Skillet and the like as “white people music”, but I got it. I understood it. It made sense to me. The red-hot frustration and angst in his voice mirrored what I felt inside. Lyrics like “DON’T TURN YOUR BACK ON ME, I WON’T BE IGNORED” and “TAKE EVERYTHING FROM THE INSIDE” felt like they were pages from my journal. Him, along with Mike Shinoda and Joe Hahn, were speaking my language.
As time went on, I grew.
I’ve been blessed to have many opportunities to process my emotions, learn ways to cope, and finally work through the cloud that many don’t get to. I still listened to Linkin Park every now and then. I bought Reanimation and Meteora without even thinking about it. When the first “Transformers” movie came out, I knew they sang the theme song without even thinking about it. They went on to release live albums and a collaboration album with Jay-Z that felt like perfection to me. Their newest album feels good in a way that is original and unique. They still have all the elements of the band that I knew back in high school: honesty, creativity, energy.
I can’t forget what their music did for me, and I can’t underplay its importance in my life. I grew up and my musical tastes deepened and broadened, and I know that much of that is due to Chester Bennington. It wasn’t just screaming or being sad. It wasn’t “my emo phase”. There was change happening.
Suicide isn’t the kind of thing that is easily understood. Teenage angst, as often as its depicted in sitcoms, rom-coms, and streaming series, is a messy place, especially when you’re in the midst of it. One of its more identifying factors is that you are alone and no one will ever understand you. Chester and Linkin Park’s art (and YES it was art) help me fight that lie, but it is truly tragic that in the end, Chester’s battles remained.
Our little community here believes that the arts can save lives, but at the end of the day, if we’re being real, its more than art. It’s more than music. If you are struggling, and you don’t have the resources or relationships, please reach out. Please know that there is hope and there is help. If you’re struggling emotionally, reach out and get support — the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7/365 at 1–800–273-TALK (8255).
Originally published at welcometothelistening.org.

