What the Hot Spring Brings

A sharp inhale brings in all the cold at once. My mouth welcomes the chill while my lungs protest with piercing twinges of pain. It forces me to slow down my pace, which then forces me to take in my surroundings. I must say, this is not a bad thing.

Every way I look, all I can see is bright snow through the black. At this time of night, it appears that every nearby mountain is wearing a snow coat. Every alp is draped in this untouchable white glitter that wants to say personally hi to you in the moonlight before it is gone by sunrise. I am so glad I get to witness this alone. The silence of the snowflakes falling onto these piles of earth continually tell me to keep moving. The far-off howl of an unidentified mammal reinforces this notion. With one hand on my breast, I quicken my descent on this perfection of risen earth. It’s not too far now until I get to what I consider my peace, the hot spring.

Approaching a hyper-muteness of what could be perceived as a valley amidst a mountain range, I could spot a small stream making its own tiny path. The closer I got, the more I could hear the water itself, but scarcely. It felt as if these monuments of water and earth birthed this waterway to fit right here.

I have the spring in view, it’s like a vital urgency comes over me, so I begin to run along the shadows of the frosted slope. My legs feel as though they do not belong to my body. Even my cheeks burn from smiling with that exaggerated excitement we’ve all felt at least once in our lives, like lovers first affectionate tryst.

Approaching the hot spring, I see the steam rise from the bend in the watercourse. Though it’s dark, there are still plenty of rocks, large stones, and even glossy pebbles visible along the edges and inside this slim river. The murky oasis grows impatient.

Upon the bank, I peer into the slow glisten as I start to disrobe. Every article of clothing must go until I am completely nude. Before submerging myself, I take another survey. The wintry air gives my skin and body hair a raised sensation and I see towering mountains looking down on my bare self and this petite river. I feel snowflakes landing on my shoulders, face, and occasionally torso, which only serves to remind me how swiftly things can melt away into oblivion.

I reach my right leg down to the water. I dip in to the arch of my foot; it feels right. Clutching my elbows in both hands, I proceed to release the rest of my body into this hot spring. As if ordained by the powers that be, a small sand spot opens up right in front me, just large enough to fit a small female body. This is where I will have my mediation tonight. I prepare myself by starting to fold my joints and lie down in the dark water.

Looking up, now all I see are stars and black sky framed by burning mist. It’s beautiful. There are so many stars that it feels dangerous to breathe. At any moment, they may collapse on top of me with the weight of their multiple existence. I take in the wet air and close my eyes.

I feel it, pure scorcher and frigidity. The way the hot spring has cobbled together this bedrock creates an awaited religious experience. In the blackest of minds, my body now only experiences slivers of near lava like liquid running from the left shoulder around the right hip and down to the back of the left knee. A counter flow of frozen current pricks every nerve in the opposite path. The simultaneous swirl of conflicting temperatures encases my entire being to the point where my breath becomes rhythmic with the universe around me. My spirit begins to elevate from my fingertips, toes, thighs, back, lungs, neck, skull, and eventually mind.

Tenderly lifting my eyelids, I meet the stars to learn their names and ask the mountains what they’ve seen. Here is where I get to make peace with deer and wild cats. I revisit family members and friends I don’t understand to better discover their reasons of actions and emotions. I commune with my past ancestors — more importantly, my great-grandmother who has guided me this far in life.

While I can only see my great-grandmother approaching between the night sky of my mind, I hear what I think is a living creature coming from down the watery passage. I can start to hearken splashing footsteps until the sprinkle of spray hits my face. I open my eyes and a shaded ghostly figure is standing fully erect over my face…

crowned face

crack heights

inn splendid

slide grey’s

hound paper

digital strung

hold rub fore

skin rot tongue