Hobo Note: Crotchety Sidekick
(Hobo Notes are a collection of random Hobo thoughts, with a particular emphasis on things I learn from and reasons I love The Littlest Hobo.)
The sun rises in the east, change is the only constant in life, and the Littlest Hobo always does the right thing. If I were a better person, I would always find Hobo’s consistent goodness comforting and satisfying. I am deeply flawed, so I don’t. Sometimes I want Hobo to—not hold a grudge, exactly—but to wait a bit before he forgives a person his mistakes. Sometimes I think Hobo is wasting himself on the undeserving, so I want him to give up on helping that person and hit the road. Sometimes I want Hobo to issue the woof equivalent of “harumph” when he communicates to someone that a certain action is dangerous or wrong and that person responds, “I know you’re telling me not to, but I’m going to go do this stupid, immoral thing anyway.”
I’ve concluded that I want Hobo to remain ever kind and always good, but I get through some frustrating Hobo moments by picturing the bad-dog exploits of Hobo’s imaginary sidekick. “Bubo,” as I call him, is a crotchety pug who exacts soft revenge on the people who hurt, foil, or ignore Hobo. When necessary, he sheds on dry-clean only garments, knocks over the trash and scatters the wet, rotting parts around the room, and poops in the car.
As examples, here is how Bubo would handle the following Littlest Hobo characters:
In “Liar, Liar” Ritchie routinely ignores Hobo’s pleas to do the right thing. Instead, Ritchie pretends that he has been hit by a car and gets the driver, Miss Stroud, in trouble with the law when his parents believe his lies and call the police. Ritchie also doctors the evidence; he scrapes Miss Stroud’s car, dents his bicycle, and fakes his injuries. Finally, he threatens his friend Simon, who witnessed everything, to discourage him from telling the truth. When Simon is persuaded by Hobo to come forward and defend Miss Stroud, Ritchie releases Simon’s beloved racing pigeons from their enclosure. Simon nearly dies trying to retrieve one of his birds from its perch on a high voltage electrical tower.
Sentence: Bubo chews all of Ritchie’s comic books and slobbers on his hockey cards.
Captain Heaney wants Hobo dead in “Day of the Fugitive.” A sailor on a Bulgarian ship disembarks in Ontario to defect to the West. The ship’s passengers are sick with possible plague symptoms, and local health authorities worry they might start an epidemic. Led by Capt. Heaney, the police search for the fugitive sailor, Milos, whom Hobo is trying to help. Despite the fact that Hobo repeatedly contacts and helps the authorities, Capt. Heaney orders Hobo shot on sight. Even after Milos and Hobo turn themselves in for diagnosis and treatment, Capt. Heaney demands that Hobo be euthanized. (Thankfully, Hobo is saved by a last-minute reprieve.)
Sentence: Bubo smears wet trash around Capt. Heaney’s living room and sheds on his suits.
Rancher Bryce Meyer shoots Hobo even after—time and again—Hobo helps him and his wife, Susan, and saves their baby, Aaron. During Hobo’s brief stay with the Meyers, he repeatedly defends the Meyers’ sheep from slaughter by a marauding wolf. Hobo also protects baby Aaron several times when the wolf threatens him. Despite Hobo’s bravery and service, Susan remains convinced that Hobo wants to hurt her baby and demands that Bryce drive Hobo away. When Hobo saves Aaron from a vicious wolf attack, Bryce misreads the situation and shoots Hobo.
Sentence: Bubo scratches all the Meyers’ nice woodwork and chews baby Aaron’s toys. They also get car poop.
Clearly my need to invent bad dog Bubo says nothing good about my character. Still, when I worry about or get sad for Hobo, imagining that Bubo is at his side and has his back makes me feel better.
