If you want to change your reality, you need to change your mindset first.
Happiness is a choice, and no matter how blunt or uninspiring that might sound to some people, in reality, it is really up to you what type of life you are going to lead.
Are you going to dwell on past decisions and mistakes?
Are you going to live in fear and worry over what might happen in the future?
Or are you finally going to start living in the present and enjoy the little things that surround you?
I say we all choose the third alternative.
Look at it this way.
We are born as a white blank page, and over the years, all of us accumulate information and knowledge that shape us into individual human beings. These white pages turn into a book with all sorts of stories that say what we become.
Even though we are all born and live in different circumstances, none of us are actually born happy or unhappy. There are many factors involved in how easy or difficult our lives are going to be, such as the society we live in, the surroundings and of course the financial stability.
However, unless you choose to be happy, you never will be no matter where you were born.
The thing is, over time we develop a consciousness that tells us right from wrong, we learn about compassion, values and somewhere along the process we also start developing certain fears and anxieties.
Often, it’s because we are desperately trying to conform to the norms set up by our society, which is not necessarily a bad thing.
But the minute this starts affecting your life and causing you to be miserable, it is time to take a step back in order to be able to embark on a journey towards happiness.
Unhappiness Is an Addiction
If you had a choice, would you choose to be happy or miserable?
Obviously, all of us would choose the first alternative. But that’s just on paper.
In reality, most of us when faced with this choice on a daily basis, instead of improving our lives and doing something about our problems, we never stop complaining.
I bet you’ve noticed this in your friends and loved ones, at least once. Here is the thing, they also noticed the same pattern in you.
That is because being unhappy is sort of an “addiction”.
Complaining about a problem when you have someone who will listen to you, is much easier than actually doing something about it.
There are many reasons behind this unhappiness that is something most of us, regarding age, gender, race or religion, have in common. Some less, others more.
Very often, it has something to do with deeply rooted self-doubt and the belief that we are not deserving of good things. It is also influenced by the false sense of happiness we see in others.
But you are your own person, and you deserve to be happy as long as you are selfless and caring.
Stop comparing yourself to others and give yourself credit for all that you’ve done by now.
You can and should be happy, but the question is how?
How to Be Happy?
There isn’t a universal definition that will tell you how to be happy, as it is something that you need to find on your own.
However, there are certain things that you can start practicing that can get you a step closer to removing the negativity in your life.
Although these steps are not unfamiliar to you when it comes to the concept of happiness, let them serve as a reminder at all times to what you should be doing, and what to avoid in your life.
Making these few choices will not be easy, but I promise you it will be worth it.
Cut off the Toxicity
There are many things in your life that can be considered toxic for you. In most cases, the toxicity is correlated with our own inability to say no to certain things.
In terms of toxic people, we are afraid to be alone or commence new relationships with people, therefore we often consent to what we have, instead of pursuing new things. These toxic people in our life can drain happiness with merely their presence.
Some of the traits that will help you recognize a toxic person are the following:
- Passive aggression
- Inability to admit a mistake
- Constant complaining and negativity
- Emotional blackmail
- Constant criticism
Sometimes this toxicity can come in another form but the minute you start feeling bad about yourself because of something or someone, the best and most reasonable thing is to do is to say no and walk away.
Focus on People and Relationship
Despite the toxic people in your life, you also have loving friends and family that will support you in your attempts to lead a happier life. So my advice is to focus on them.
Start appreciating your relationships with people, instead of spending time on the material things that will not bring you long-term pleasure.
We were born alone, and we will die alone, so we might as well live our best and most fulfilled life surrounded by people that we care about. The material things are temporary
The Comfort Zone is Not Your Friend
Our comfort zone is a place that makes us feel secure. It’s our personal bubble where we have all the power and can predict the outcomes.
But life is not about that, at all.
Life is unpredictable and the best things happen when we least expect them. So get out of your comfort zone and stop being afraid of the unknown. This little bubble is not your friend at all. On the contrary, it is really your enemy and one of the things that are preventing you to find happiness in life.
I know this is one of the most difficult things you will have to do, but my advice is to start small and you will eventually exit the comfort zone completely.
Treat Your Body and Soul Kindly
This is not an exaggeration, but exercise and a proper diet will make you much happier both temporary and on a long-term. And while you can easily achieve this by regular exercise and healthy food, you also need to take care of your mental state.
Do things that make you happy, stop overstressing about things from the past or your future. Your current worries will be merely a distant memory some time from now.
So always take time to take care of your body and soul. You will see the difference and will be grateful to yourself for making that choice.
Don’t Overwork Yourself
This a common problem many people have that often leads to severe unhappiness.
It is particularly common amongst young people currently.
Not only we work too much, but most people are also stuck on jobs that they don’t like only to get by the month.
The financial stability is important and should not be overlooked, but money is not everything in life and they won’t bring you real happiness, despite what many people believe.
It’s good to have financial freedom, but not at the cost of your own unhappiness.
So don’t overwork yourself, and if possible find a job that you will enjoy waking up for. It’s not that difficult when you are determined and have a well-thought plan.
Admit and Own Your Mistakes
We are human and we make mistakes. No one is flawless.
but the moment you admit your mistakes and own them, you will feel relief that no one except for yourself can give you.
To be truly happy you need to be content with yourself and the things you do and despite the mistakes, you need to be an honest person. Admitting your mistakes brings you one step closer to feeling happier and more satisfied.
Leave pride behind and say that you are sorry. Use your mistakes to become a better person for you and the people around you.
Owning up to your mistakes is not an easy thing to do, but it will bring positivity in your life and you will feel much more worthy and free.
Making the choice to be happy is not as simple as reading an article, but it brings you one step closer to your goal. It is what you do after this that counts.
If you start practicing what has been said before and also find the things that make you happy in the process, then you will notice the difference.
You need to set up your mindset towards positive thinking and start making good decisions.
Happiness is temporary, which makes life more fun and worthy of living. You need to work hard and earn it. But you can outweigh the bad moments with your good ones if you try hard enough.
I say you try and make the right choice.
So what’s it going to be?