The Big Eight: Do’s and Don’ts in Chinese Culture

Written by Carlo Miguel Lao

Gong Xi Fa Cai! Belated Happy Chinese New Year to everyone!

Last January 28, 2017, the Chinese community celebrated this year’s very early Chinese New Year. Shortly after, John Clements had a short but meaningful discussion on Chinese Culture and the proper etiquette one should practice when interacting with them.

Every culture has its own set of rules and practices that are either acceptable or frowned upon. Just like any other country, China also has her own customary practices, in both social and business environments, and has long been known as “the country of etiquette”. Since the earlier eras and as an inseparable part of culture and heritage, the Chinese have closely practiced and stuck to their traditional customs. Though some of its people had already been influenced by rapid global development, China, as a society, is still deeply rooted in its long history and profound culture.

Generally, travelling around China is always a revolving and ever-changing experience, where outsiders learn a new set of rules, customs, traditions, social expectations, and stigmas one might not be able to experience in any other country in the world. To make your trip to China a breeze and prevent confusing and embarrassing situations from happening, below are some points to remember. Let’s begin!

1. Gift Giving

· Give gifts with both your hands.

· Colors — when wrapping presents, make sure to use yellow, pink, and red; these are lucky and festive colors for the Chinese. On the other hand, never give a gift that is white, blue, or black as these represent death and sadness.

· Quality pens, especially engraved ones, are considered great gifts.

· Things to avoid giving:

o Clocks — never give clocks (watches are okay) since they connote death.

o Green hats — the Chinese phrase “dài lǜ màozi” or “to wear a green hat” denotes being cheated on by one’s unfaithful wife.

o Umbrellas — the Chinese word for umbrella, sǎn, sounds like the word sàn, which means “to separate”.

o Scissors or sharp objects — these also symbolize severing relations.

o Handkerchiefs, straw sandals, a stork or a crane are also said to bring people misfortune.

o Pears — the Chinese word for “pear” has the same pronunciation as the one for “divorce”.

o White or yellow flowers (especially chrysanthemums) — these are commonly used funeral flowers in China.

3. Table Manners

· Chinese have a lot of different beliefs surrounding the proper use of chopsticks. Chopsticks are mainly used for eating; they are not to be used to gesture or point at items or individuals. The Chinese do not use these for playing either.

· When you’re done eating, remember not to place your chopsticks inside the bowl, but on top of the bowl.

· Do not stick your chopsticks straight up into anything since this is how they use incense. This is an ill omen, representing death or a curse.

· When invited to a dinner or a banquet, hosts must be the first ones to eat.

· Belching out loud and slurping food is appreciated in China since it means that the food is delicious.

· During toasts, tap the table twice and stand up if it’s in a more formal setting. It is also better to oblige when the host offers you a drink and says “Gan Bay!” (bottoms up).

· Always leave a little on your plate to demonstrate generosity of the host; they will always have your plate refilled as courtesy.

· Never eat the last piece on a tray.

· There is no room for business discussions during meals and social events. There is a demarcation between business and socializing in China; be careful not to intertwine the two.

5. Tipping

· Tipping is a practice that is not observed in China. Cab drivers, restaurant staff, and bellmen do not expect to be tipped and could even get offended if offered extra money.

· The sole exception to the aforementioned is a tour guide; they were especially hired to cater to tourists. These individuals often depend on tips for their income, therefore, it would be wise to budget for tipping tour guides and the tour drivers.

6. Business Matters

· Make sure to accept business cards with both hands.

· Business cards are exchanged after the initial introduction.

· Make sure to examine a business card before keeping it.

· Never write on a business card unless directed to.

· Bring several copies of all written documents for your meetings.

· Business in China is very hierarchical. Don’t expect to get the decisions outright; decisions are most likely to be made after getting a directive from the upper management.

· Your starting price in bids should always have room for negotiations.

· Address grown-ups by honorific titles such as “Mister” and “Miss”.

· The eldest person is always to be greeted first as a sign of respect.

· Never write, especially names, using red ink since names of the deceased, on tombstones, are traditionally written with red ink. It also symbolizes protest or severe criticism.

7. Face

· “Face” or “Mian Zi” represents a person’s honor, good reputation, and place in society.

· “Face” is a fragile commodity in China; dignity is a big part of China’s national psyche and the Chinese are actually sensitive about gaining it and keeping it.

· The easiest way to cause someone to lose face is by openly criticizing them in front of other people. Foreigners can unintentionally offend Chinese people by making fun of them, even if it were done with good intent.

· Praising someone publicly for their work also earns the praise-giver respect, provided that it is done genuinely.

· Gifts are not opened as soon as they are received. This prevents the giver from losing face if the receiver does not like the gift.

· When asked for favors, the Chinese will never say ‘no’. They will always almost say ‘I will think about it’ or ‘I will see’ to avoid losing face.

8. General Rules

· Do not compare China to Japan, especially when it comes to political and religious issues.

· Discussions regarding politics, state leaders, recent history, and issues about Taiwan, Xinjiang, and Tibet are (still) very sensitive topics they do not want to discuss.

· Chinese people are nationalistic and are naturally proud of their country. They can get a little irritated when they hear criticism about their country.

· Punctuality is considered a virtue in China; they even come earlier than expected to show earnestness.

· Do not point at people or beckon at them with one finger when you are communicating with them. As an alternative to this, you must motion with the palm of your hand.

· Public display of affection is frowned upon.

· Do not use large hand movements. The Chinese do not speak with their hands and your movements may end up distracting your host.

8. Numbers

Lastly, numbers play an important role in the lives of the Chinese. There are lucky and unlucky numbers, as well as combination of numbers that you must be wary of when giving gifts, celebrating certain events, making decisions, and the like.

· 4 — the number 4 (sì) sounds like the Chinese word for “dead” (sǐ) and is considered very unlucky. The Chinese take this seriously that they purposely omit the fourth floor in most elevators of their buildings.

· 6 — the number 6 (liù) is considered lucky since it sounds similar to “liú” (to flow). It is seen as a blessing for smoothness and progress.

· 8 — the number 8 (bā) has a similar pronunciation as “fa”, which means wealth or fortune.

· 9 — “jiu”, Chinese for the number 9, implies something that would last forever, especially in the context of friendship and marriage.

· 73 — simply means “the funeral”

· 84 — means “having accidents”

Fun Fact: Just a quick disclaimer, I purposely shied away from placing the #4 and doubled the #8 to pay respects to the aforementioned points.

Hopefully, these points will give you a brief overview of the do’s and don’ts of Chinese culture.