Dabbling in sobriety

I haven’t had a drink in over 75 days. I don’t know when the last one was because I didn’t make a conscious decision to stop drinking. I mean, I did temporarily in the sense that I was preparing for surgery.

And then, I woke up in the hospital and began to take inventory of my life in a strange stupor of drugs that deregulated my nervous system.

I began to evaluate every aspect of my life. I questioned the things that previously seemed normal.

Why do I say yes to things that don’t spark joy?
Is it time to finally grow our little family?
How can I more intentionally spend my time?
What can I do to get away from so much screen time and social media?
What other hobbies can I explore?

Why do people even drink… when more often than not it makes you feel like crap and act like a different person?

When it can easily take a grip on your life and turn you into someone unrecognizable?

Does the government want people to drink as a way to keep people creatively and psychologically stunted?

Okay, I may sound like I am floating into conspiracy theory territory. But these were the hard questions that were just naturally coming to me. Lots of tears, lots of reevaluating the way I was living my life, and seeing this transformation that I was undergoing physically as a time to also grow below the surface.

So I haven’t had a drink. And antibiotics aside, I think I would still choose that path. I want my body to focus on healing and I want my mind to be crystal clear. I want to wake up everyday feeling better than the next. I want to build up my physical strength and mental wellness.

I have never had a issue with alcohol, although professionals may say I was destined to. My father is a recovering alcohol, and his father never recovered. He died when he was 11.

Some call it sober curious. I don’t think it needs a label.

I don’t think I won’t ever have alcohol again. But right now, I’m content.

I wish more people wouldn’t be so afraid to give it a try. I wish more people would question why they have to include alcohol in every occasion, joyous like birthdays or sorrowful like funerals.

And I wish more people would heal the generational trauma that is so potent in our modern society.

I am powerful,

Steph