Symmetry is a hoax

You know that phrase “eyebrows should be sisters, not twins”? It’s cute, but do we believe it? And why doesn’t it apply to other parts of our appearance?

Have you ever sat in front of the mirror and looked at your face, feature by feature? You’re probably more likely to have used a TikTok filter when you discovered how truly unsymmetrical you actually are. I’m absolutely a victim of both experiences.

One of my ears sticks out more than the other. That’s a newer discovery of mine.

My nostrils are totally different shapes. I have memories of knowing this from a young age.

And right now, one of my cheeks is still slowly but surely deflating from the post-surgery swelling.

My new jaw line and facial contour are slowly emerging. And I have considerable caution. I won’t allow myself to get too excited by, too attached to, too hellbent on… this idea of symmetry.

Because symmetry was never my main objective.

In fact, I embraced my asymmetrically reconstructed jaw for 7 years. Sure, technically it was because I thought I had no choice but to live with it, but I also decided it could be an act of defiance.

Defying the textbook of beauty standards that has been co-opted by my generation, written by Kim K, the influencers, the multi-billion dollar industry that cautions us against wrinkles, dark spots, acne, and smile lines.

Studies show that humans find symmetrical faces more attractive than asymmetrical ones. Who do I need to be attractive for?

And yet. There is a glimmer of hope that I may return to be a more familiar me. A physical version of me that is closer to that young, untouched me from the days before incisions and bone grafts.

Here’s to the unfolding. Here’s to the evolving.

I am powerful,
Steph