The ebb & flow of healing

A log of my progress to remind me where I started

Week 1

From a propofol slumber, catheter and NG tube to walking the halls and syringing protein shakes. From ICU to regular room. From pointing to letters on a page to spell words, to writing on a white board.

From hospital bed to my own bed, I was discharged after a week. I couldn’t have done that if I wasn’t this young, strong, and healthy.

Week 2

From white board messages to mumbled speech. I used to gag from the crushed up pills in apple juice, but now I can down them like a professional. Steroid regime was done, but my bruises were just beginning. I lost over 10 pounds.

Week 3

From crying every morning and spontaneously at a moment’s notice, to more regulated emotions. From my own bed, back to the hospital bed with an infection. From fever, throwing up, sick to my stomach, fainting… to relief. From draining my neck to bandaging it up. I can talk now! Less mumbling!

The infection was nasty, but we fought it off. Grateful I can easily walk to the bathroom on my own this hospital stay.

Week 4

From no pills to more antibiotics for good measure. From wired shut to free again. From liquid diet to scrambled eggs. From waking up with anxiety to a more sound sleep. I can stand for longer — finally able to tidy the apartment and resume some normal day to day routine. It seems I’m on the up swing now.

Week 5

Pancakes, guacamole, soup, mashed potatoes. And a sneaky case of tonsillitis to keep things interesting. I started therapy again to unpack this experience, and then some. Incision is still leaking, but if that means the swelling will continue to reduce… I’ll take it! Micro movements in my eyebrow show my nerves are waking back up.

Day by day, inch by inch. I am healing!

And I am powerful,
Steph