The Hidden Door of the Heart: Discovering the Essential Qualities of the Self
My synopsis of Dr. John Prendergast’s talk at Science and Non-Duality 2018
At some point in our childhood we abandon ourselves. It’s too painful to be intimate with the most authentic, essential parts of ourselves. The deeper you excavate into the heart’s conditioning, the more tender you go, until you discover why you closed yourself off as a child.
There’s a spot which can be physically felt at the back of the heart, which I poetically call the soul. The soul sits between the individual and the universal. This is the seat of compassion, curiosity, wisdom, clarity, connection. As I work with people and this is uncovered, the essential qualities of their being light up like rays of the sun. I can see it in their face, hear it in their voice, and watch their eyes sparkle.
When you open up to this part of yourself you find your kindred spirits, your soul mates and most importantly, your greatest soulmate — yourself. I would encourage you to literally look into the mirror and fall in love with yourself.
To live from your heart you must cultivate clarity, otherwise your mind will confuse you with stories. We need to get comfortable with not knowing. This is my mantra for the conditioned mind to let go.
Don’t know. Can’t know. Don’t NEED to know.
If our body doesn’t feel safe in our physical space, we can’t drop into our heart. As stresses pull us back into identification with ego, we go back and forth between sensing our essential self back to separation. We get little tastes of it but then loose it again. This is natural.
The spacious, loving nature of the Great Heart provides the optimal environment for the natural integrative process of reuniting the rejected pieces of ourselves. Every experience is a portal. In any moment, you can ask yourself “what’s at the very core of this experience?” You will discover something essential. Your heart wisdom will reveal the next step that you need to take.
We’re not looking for perfection, we’re looking for greater integrity between our actions and our essential nature. This opening up and outpouring transforms our work and relationships. We can’t stay in our caves or comfort zones. This will moves us forward. It takes deep listening and sometimes a willingness to have the difficult conversations. Taking this action is a very important part of our integrity. When we don’t act on our heart’s knowing, it subsides.
We listen. We let in the revelation. Then we act. It’s a virtuous cycle that dissolves the illusion between inside and outside. That’s when we begin to meet ourselves in the other. It starts to feel like I am speaking to me when I’m speaking to you. It’s that intimate.
How do you know if your sense of something comes from your mind or your heart?
It doesn’t speak with “should,” it doesn’t come from a place of fear, it’s not urgent or judgemental. It has a sense of what needs to be done right now, but not a plan for the long-range. It’s often subtle, just a natural inclination of the body, like feeling drawn to go talk to someone that you don’t know and not knowing why.
Meditation
Find a comfortable seat and breathe into your heart center. Allow the floor underneath or your seat hold you.
Ask yourself, “What’s the true nature of my heart?” And then let it go. Don’t go to your mind for an answer. Be quiet and receptive.
Allow yourself to feel into this and then after a little while you can also ask, “Does my heart need protection?” There’s no right or wrong answer. Just be open to discovery.
Here’s Dr. Prendergast’s talk at SAND from 2016. Subscribe to SAND’s YouTube channel to get this year’s videos as soon as they are live. More about his work at Listening from Silence.
