Insanely Juicy Kabobs

As my #SpicyType series is coming to a close, creating the cardamom design had me wanting to share this excellent recipe with you. I’m not going to try and make a case for how incredible it is because A) I’m super biased (duh) and B) I’m the best cook, like, ever.

This recipe assumes you’re working with two pounds of ground meat, or whatever artificial alternative you have available, and makes enough to feed one person. These kabobs are not made for sharing.

In a large bowl, mix:

2 eggs
1/4 cup of tapioca starch
1/4 cup of instant mashed potato mix
1 8oz can of mushrooms, blended

Spices:

  • cardamom
  • coriander
  • turmeric
  • cumin
  • parsley flakes
  • black pepper
  • paprika
  • garlic powder (not the minced stuff)
  • salt

Once everything is mixed to smooth perfection, add the meat and mix again until your hands are about to give up. Right before your hands lose it and rebel, shape the kabob mixture into whatever forms please you at the moment. The classic kabob shape is preferred, but burger-like patties, stars, dinosaurs, and spelling out your name in Hebrew will all produce the same result in your belly.

Now you cook it.

Like, with fire. I really shouldn’t have to explain this part, but I will recommend that you prepare this incredible meat mashup on a stovetop cast iron grill pan. This way you retain the juice I mentioned ever so casually in the recipe name, and have a nice fat drizzle left to pour over your side of poutine.