Save the awkward Office Christmas Party
It’s up to you, superhero.
Sheila from HR has hair-sprayed a large, red smile to her face and raises her dirty martini up to the assembled group.
‘Well! Cheers Everyone!’
Cheers (+ variations, including a hilarious one from Gerald who says ‘beers!’ instead) are muttered reluctantly amongst the group, barely heard above the noise of the other office christmas parties further down the inebriation trail. Many are gathered here in the trendy bar, recommended by someone’s trendy niece who doesn’t even work in the office, but few are enthused. Just what can you order exactly so you don’t get fired? Are you meant to pay for your own drink? How early is too early to make an excuse to leave? Is Carol from accounting going to start telling you her miniature dachshund is ‘literally her baby’ again?
Again, don’t worry. I’ve been there.
I am currently in the fortunate position of working with a great bunch of people who make every office event, mandatory or not, a sheer pleasure. However, sometimes you can just tell that despite best intentions, it might be an awkward evening ahead of you. Here are nine of the places in London that have my personal guarantee to ease that work/party transition — whether you want to book ahead or play it by ear.
Dinerama
Shoreditch
This Shoreditch staple is absolutely perfect for those looking for enough of a crowd to get the atmosphere going without the danger of it being too full-on. Each stall here serves a different, quality street-food (often from an award-winning vendor) and the main drinks bar serves generous servings of your favourite drinks. There is also a bar called ‘The Rum Shack’, which in my honest opinion might as well be called ‘Hi, two more please’, serving a variety of rum-based cocktails and friendly smiles.
Good For: Atmosphere, variety and talking points
Bad For: Finding a seat at peak hours
Draughts
West Acton
Look at these content, happy players. That could be you and Alexi from Sales! Draughts is a board game cafe in Acton Mews that is perfect for that tension busting game of Battleships. Or Settlers of Catan. Or Draughts, if you’re feeling conventional.
Good for: Talking points, team building and something that isn’t necessarily drinking based. Also, lots of lovely nostalgia.
Bad for: That one person on the team who will consistently declare it ‘nerdy’, the need to book in advance for peak times.
Tamesis Dock
Vauxhall
For those for whom the Captain Jack Sparrow dream never died. This peculiarly named floating bar is permanently moored at Alexandra Dock, and provides a unique alternative to those boring ‘land-based’ bars. This place can either be hired out as an excellent private venue, or is open generally from midday till midnight as a pub and simple restaurant. If you want a conversation piece, this is a very good option.
Good for: Great views across the Thames, the novelty, friendly barstaff, no-fee for general entry
Bad for: large groups (unless you’re hiring it out), the bitter sting of the night-time wind as it whips across the Thames and directly into your drunk little face if you’re sitting on the deck
Dans Le Noir
Clerkenwell
Hah, good one, me. But seriously though, large amounts of black are all you will see once you begin your meal at this unique concept restaurant in Clerkenwell. Check out the Pearl below to discover more about the wonderful charitable reasons behind the creation of this place, but for now consider this; maybe the reason you find Toby from Social Media Sales so irritating is because you can see him. Maybe if you can’t see him then you will release you might actually love him.
Good for: Novelty factor, charitable factor, actually really great delicious food
Bad for: Perhaps sitting in the pitch black with your co-workers might not actually help make things less awkward
The Deck, National Theatre
Southbank
Just LOOK at that view. Hire out this space on top of the National Theatre and not only will the magic of London’s skyline help ease everyone into the festive mood, but the fact you are standing on top of the theatre will finally allow you to show off about all the useless knowledge you’ve been carrying around with you since you finished off your ‘English and Theatre degree.’ What’s that, surprisingly-fanciable Arnold from Systems? You want to hear more about Brecht whilst we sip our third complementary champagne? Of course you do.
Good for: Stunning skyline views, a unique space, attention to detail, helpful staff
Bad for: The experience is somewhat lessened if it’s raining, a little pricy for a small group
Ray’s Bar
Dalston
A reasonably new venture from the men who brought us Voodoo Ray’s, the small pizza chain that is causing a stir in London. This new cocktail bar is situated inside the Dalston restaurant and they are trying something a little bit different by offering a ‘Three-course menu’ that is in-fact just three different cocktails. Three different excellent cocktails, of course, given that the quality at this establishment is always evident.
Good for: Original cocktails, ‘Dalston coolness’ rubbing off on you, proximity to pizza
Bad for: Limitation if you go for the three-course cocktail package, small venue, proximity to crowds eating pizza
Juju’s Bar and Stage
Brick Lane
Another very cool venue, but actually combined with that in this location is just a really nice atmosphere. Available to hire out for whatever your event needs — be that comedy, film screening, live music, birthdays, bar mitzvahs, office christmas parties — this is a special place in a great location. I don’t know who you are, Juju, but you have put together a very competent space.
Good for: Privacy, proximity to famous Brick Lane, smooth sexy wood floors, friendly ambience
Bad for: As it’s mainly hired out for private events, it might take a little while for the awkwardness to defrost as it’ll be just you and your co-workers.
Big Apple Brixton
Brixton
This pop-up claims to bring ‘1977 New York to Brixton’. A very specific but evidently important period. I suspect there may be some historically inaccurate points in this reproduction however. Namely, I doubt that there were quite so many people on tinder dates. I could be wrong. Never-the-less, it is very pretty, very cool and located in one of London’s famously hip areas.
Good for: Location, proximity to late-opening bars, variety of stalls, pretty fairy lights
Bad for: Gets very crowded at peak times, can be a little pricy if you stay for a while, historical inaccuracies.
Studio 6
Southbank
This place makes every list I make. See below for why.
Good for: Location, heated garden, atmosphere, prices, space for groups, friendly staff, the fact I’ll probably see you there, last minute plans, late opening hours
Bad for: Wouldn’t recommend the food. But that’s it.
Go on. That’s your lot. See the whole lot in the Guide I made by clicking the link below:
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