Baby Mummy Types — Which Are You?

My relatively short time as a mum has been a steep learning curve.

As I spluttered snot and pure joy over my newborn baby girl almost three and a half years ago, I was unwittingly flung in to a crazy world I never knew existed and quite frankly, didn’t bargain on being a part of! I’ve succeeded and failed in many things in many epic ways. I’ve made new discoveries about children in general and about myself. And I’ve also observed other mums — a lot. Like Attenborough, I’ve been down and dirty with them in their natural environment and they are a peculiar beast. The talcum powder and tea soaked world of a mother is not a place for the faint of heart, and seems to split in to 3 basic categories;

#1 The Dramatist!

In extra big bold, this baby mamma’s world is a frightening place fraught with perils and dangers about to jump out and attack her baby! Every thought is agonisingly considered over many sleepless nights staring at her baby. Is she feeding enough, what’s that tiny spot on her cheek, what school will develop her to her full potential, should we go up a nappy size, is she rating OK on her growth percentiles, does she like the smell of the new bum wipes we bought the other day??? This tired and tense mum will hover over her child all day long looking out for potential danger and basically stunting her natural development.

#2 The Rose Bespectacled.

For this mum, everything is rosy. Her baby is a peach of perfection, can do no wrong as he/she is clawing some other child’s face off ‘discovering’ their environment. Their baby sleeps for 18 hours a night, never cries, never refuses bottles or food and is so sociable with everyone! Rosy mum watches with a pitying smile as other mum’s struggle and sweat through their days. She offers useful titbits of advice that work so well for her. She is usually a one child parent, and will sadly suffer horrendous shock when either her baby turns 2 or her second child comes along.

#3 The Realist.

This mum lives in the real world. She knows her baby shits and pukes just like everyone else’s. She does her best to get through her days without killing herself or her baby, and trying to maintain some shred of her adult self while sitting through hours of nursery rhymes, singing, playing with toys and staring at her baby. She’s not afraid to ask for advice. She tries, she fails, she’s OK with that. She’s the mum that makes you feel good about yourself.

Personally, I like to think I’m a realist, but the true reality is we are all a bit of 1, 2 and 3, and one couldn’t survive without the other. There is no rule book, that’s for damn sure. My mother always said “babies don’t come with a manual!”. So let he who is without sin cast the first stone, and let’s just get on with it the best way we know how!