Time Out, Please….We’re Sooo Tired
I really feel like I’ve been a good sport. When my son was diagnosed, I wept, I got angry, I sought out someone to blame, I felt awfully sorry for my son, my family and myself… but only for like, a week! Then I showered, bought some Este Lauder double-wear and picked myself up. I decided to become the best thing to ever happen to my son.
I was gonna kick autisms ass.
I became an expert on all the toys and play therapies… sensory, oral motor, tactile, spatial skills, deep pressure items, early phonics, I know what all those things are now! I focused on my son and I studied his needs, strengths and weakness’s and learned how I can help him alleviate the negatives and focus on the positives. I mean, I started a damn blog and facebook page LAUGHING in the face of autism! This was NOT going to get the better of me or my family.
I had my first argument with the wonderful organisation that is taking care of Jude. Because my son deserves the best, and I am very sorry if you guys are understaffed and underpaid, but that is, politley, not my problem.
While we sat on waiting lists for speach & language and occupational therapy, I Youtubed sessions and, when girls went to school and the baby napped, I played Therapist and Patient with Jude. In a very short while he greatly improved!
His new found skills even became incorporated into the family routine, as a family, we realised almost everything we do can be a teachable moment. We were disgustingly positive. Anything we had to say to Jude became a question that reqired an answer that resulted in an award. It was actually fun! The girls got really into it, like it was a competition to see who could get the most out of him (they have an amazing ability to turn *anything* into a competition, the prize being, bragging rights and the defeated subsequently being crowned a poopyheaded loser). Lucy asked me a few months ago if we should do the same with the baby (now 15 months old). Great idea! he’ll be head and shoulders above with all this extra help! But, guess what!? He’s not…
I fecking knew this was coming! So did my husband! I first broached the topic to him, gingerly, over coffee one morning, expecting him to shhh me and tell me I was being overly cautious. But instead, he just looked at me like he was thinking the exact same thing. The baby has missed some milestones. And now we’d said it out loud so something *had* to done, sighhhhhh. We took some time to process (ignore/pretend its not happening) it. Its not real until you call the public health nurse and “express concern”, everyone knows that. I needed time to prepare for the familiar “he’s a bit young/ your’re paranoid/ give him a few more months” dance that I had when I started this with Jude. But yesterday I bit the bullet and made the call.
The PHN didn’t question me this time, she just listened, concured and set up an assessment for my baby boy. (Never underestimate how irrationally angry an autism-parent can become towards a professional for NOT disagreeing with them!)Autism was kicking MY ass. There was NOTHING funny about this. I got sad again, I allowed myself a little self pity… she could obviously tell. But she had no sympathy for me whatsoever! She simply told me to look at Jude and his progress so far! I was like “I KNOW! HE’S GREAT! BUT STILL… TIMEOUT! PLEEEEEASE! WE’RE SOOOO TIRED!” Let me just say, in case its not clear, this nurse is wonderful, and she is great at her job. She left me no time to wallow. “Ah sure lookit, ye are pros now, we’ll have him checked and see whats what, God’ll only give you what ye can handle”. I couldn’t tell if she really beleived this or was trying to make me laugh. Jesus, did I laugh.
Now I’m sure if and when my little baba is DX’d I will weep. I will get angry, I might even try blame someone… But only for like, a week! On the brightside, I’ve already got all the toys and shit and Jude is (kinda) learning to wait his turn! Besides… My Estee Lauder is running low and Mamma needs a new Le Touche Eclat!
By Christine Greene-O’Brien-Gleeson
Originally published at mama-puh-lease.tumblr.com.
