To apologise when you’re not sorry? Yes or no?


I recently did an unforgivable thing.

One of my close friends was having a milestone birthday bash. A big planned affair at her house with 60 or so invited guests, myself included. The day of the party, I wasn’t well, hadn’t been for a while, and feeling very low and exhausted, I made a controversial and unorthodox decision. I did not go to the party………it did not go down well.

Now I was genuinely gutted to be missing the celebrations, but unfortunately, as a full time stay at home mum, these are the shitty choices we have to make.

Four years ago I would have powered on through, drank myself numb on the night, hauled my sorry carcass to work Monday morning, hidden behind my computer and braced myself for the longest working day in history.

But now, now come Monday morning I am in charge of two little humans. So not only would the aftermath be a form of cruel and unusual torture for me, it would be unfair for them.

As any parent knows, raising kids is tough at the best of times. But when you don’t bring your a-game to the table, they can smell it.

Like sharks circling blood, they attack repeatedly, mercilessly for hours on end.

No you can’t, Stop it, Leave your sister alone, I said no, Because that’s why, I don’t know, Get off my leg, I SAID LEAVE HER ALONE!!! And so on until 6pm when backup arrives.

It is absolutely Murphy’s Law that when there is a parental event on the horizon, the Gods will conspire to thwart all plans. So believe me, when a parent gives up a social occasion of their own volition, it is not done lightly!

We apologise, but we are not actually sorry, because we are not where we would rather be!

The fall out from my non-attendance did not come from the actual birthday girl, but from a mutual ‘friend’, a mother herself. So in future, I ask you all to be kind.

Parent or no, trust that your mum friend is making her choices for good reasons, and spare her a thought as you raise your glass.