Learning from my mistakes

I’ve made my fair share of mistakes in life. From trivial things such as the time I dropped a family-sized bottle of ketchup on our brand new white rug when I was ten to forgetting to turn in homework freshman year. I remember the countless times my parents had to remind me to stay organized or to focus on one task growing up. I’ve made big, almost life-altering mistakes as well. While some mistakes hold remorse or regret, others allow for growth.

Growing up an only child, I wanted someone to look up to, but I lacked an older and wiser figure other than my parents. I turned to teenage neighbors, babysitters, cousins, or even celebrities to base my own actions off of. Without a stable role model, my behavior varied, and I tried to fit in a lot as a pre-teen. As many 12 year-olds do, I went through phases. The largest “phase” I went through was hunching my back. From a young age, I have been the tallest girl in my class. I remember standing up in music class and being taller than all the boys behind me, I felt a million eyes at my back. I felt like I stuck out in a bad way. So until high school, I had a tendency to hunch, to make myself appear shorter. I’m not sure why I thought being tall was a bad thing because today it is one of my favorite qualities about myself, but I surely did conceal it. I didn’t wear high heels or stand in front of groups; basically everything to hide my height. All of the phases I went through as a pre-teen hold one common theme, I was trying to fit in.

Trying to fit in. I think my biggest mistake in life so far has been trying to be someone I am not, rather than doing what makes me happy or just plainly being myself. The mistakes in my life that people see as dumb or as strange, I can’t change, and I wouldn’t because they have made me who I am. While it would have been nice to not have had to clean up the rug stained with three gallons of ketchup, I’ve learned how to grow from my mistakes, no matter how small they might be. In the end, I would have rather made mistakes that formed my personality and made me better, rather than not. Personally, making mistakes inspired personal change, especially when it had to do with my confidence. In a way, I don’t regret the mistakes I’ve made in my life. No matter how cliche it sounds, they have made me into who I am today.