Perseverance Is Your Superpower
Throughout our lives, we have all faced many obstacles. The obstacles I faced have shaped me into who I am today. If I had not persevered through these moments, what type of person would I be? Would I give up during times of challenge? Be afraid to stick endeavors out, and see their outcomes?
Obstacles—are nothing but growth and learning opportunities. It’s up to you to decide how you approach those opportunities. I did not know it at the time, but these moments would be an anchor for me for the rest of my life.
If you don’t like something, change it.
If you can’t change it, change your attitude.
~ Maya Angelou
Changing Your Attitude Creates A New Approach To Life
When I was around 7 years old, I would run into challenges that were hard for me — be it homework, a video game, or doing physical activity — and I would end up saying the words, “I can’t.” When my mom tried to help me do my homework, I’d burst into a tantrum saying things like, “I don’t get it, it’s too hard, I can’t do this.” One day my dad heard me. He came into the room frustrated and said: “Chris, stop saying the words I can’t. It’s not true and it’s very negative”. After listening to him tell me why this was so wrong to do, my dad made me promise to stop saying the words ‘I can’t’. If I happened to say those words I would be in trouble with him, and so I tried my hardest to keep my promise.
As a kid, I did not understand why a couple of words mattered so much to my dad. All I knew was that I did not want to disappoint him, so I would ask him to help me anytime I was struggling. We would walk through every problem, scenario, or question to make sure I understood it. I did not notice it at the time, but eventually, I was no longer struggling with my homework, and sometimes I was even faster at completing it.
When report card pickups came around, my dad and I went over mine. He said, “someone who can’t do something does not get A’s or B’s”. He then went on to tell me why the words, “I can’t”, are so concerning to hear. “It makes you think you’re not good enough when that is the furthest thing from the truth. You just needed more practice,” he said. This made me feel happy, and it gave me a bit of confidence too. I now believed I was good enough. It’s frightening to think what would have happened to my self-esteem if my dad never heard me say those words. My dad helped me gain the perseverance to say, “I can”, and to figure it out. Have you ever faced a problem in your life and told yourself that you can’t? As much as this can feel like the case at times, it is not true — you may just be unaware of how to solve the problem, and need a little help.
Every time you state what you want or believe, you’re the first to hear it. It’s a message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don’t put a ceiling on yourself.
~ Oprah Winfrey
Times of Transition Create Space for New Goals
Of course, that was not the last time I faced a particularly challenging moment in my life. During my senior year of high school, I did not know what I wanted to do next. Would I go away to school, would I stay home and go to a community college, and what would I even major in? I had already found a part-time job in retail, which had full-time availability if I wanted. My best friends had already decided to go to community colleges, as well as the girl I was dating at the time.
Community college was looking pretty appealing to me, but my dad had different plans. I was in a more rebellious phase of my life, and my dad wanted me out of the house. He made a couple of calls, both to an advisor at Millikin University and to my brother’s basketball coach at Millikin. They both contacted me, and a few weeks later I was enrolled at Millikin University. Before entering college, I had almost given up on the idea of playing basketball, but it seemed life had other plans in store for me.
All my life I played basketball, but I had never considered playing beyond high school. After I got to meet some of the other guys playing ball, I started to miss it. When I played against them and felt the competition, I knew my love for the game was not over. Over the summer I had not worked on my game at all and because of this, I was not in the greatest condition. I needed a lot of work if I wanted any chance of making the team, let alone playing in the games. As my brother had already been on the team, I knew that they had all been conditioning throughout the summer, and I had a lot of work to do to catch up. My brother was and always has been a great athlete, someone who excelled at everything he did, and he was one of the starting guards. I felt like I had to be on his level to stand a chance of getting noticed by the coaches. Making the team worried me, but not as much as embarrassing myself in front of my brother. For me, having a sibling that is great at something that I also aspired to do resulted in me trying to live up to his expectations, or beat them.
With a few months to get ready, I immediately began working out with my brother and the other players. Two-a-day workouts were part of our daily schedule, but sometimes we’d work out 3 times a day to get more practice in. I’d wake up early to go on runs, put up shots between classes, and play 5 on 5 whenever I could. I had a pretty tough workout plan myself, but also mirrored everything the starters did to not get left behind.
When the time came to try out, it was strange. I thought I’d be more anxious, but I was calm. I remember being with my brother after the final tryout and saying “I hope I made the cut”. He looked back at me and said “you have nothing to worry about. You played well and I’d be surprised if you didn’t make it”. Leading up to the tryouts he was the first to tell me if I was making mistakes, where I needed to improve, and nothing at all if I was doing well. To hear him say that put me at ease and after I saw the final team list, I felt ecstatic and ready to set my sights on my next goal of earning some minutes. Although I only ended up playing college basketball for a short time. I learned that hard work with determination can be a key driver in overcoming obstacles.
Not everything that is faced can be changed but nothing can be changed until faced.
~ James Baldwin
Self-Awareness Is A New Reality
It’s crazy to think about, but six years ago I started my career in sales at Yelp. It was a great experience, one that taught me a lot about myself and what it means to be great at something. As someone who got his first job at fifteen, then worked throughout college all while maintaining a spot on the college basketball team, I had at this point developed a lot of pride in myself. I believed I could do anything I put my mind to.
When I started working in sales, it was one of the first times something did not click for me right away. This threw me off, to the point where I was questioning choosing to pursue a sales role. This hit me hard because:
- It made me feel like I made a mistake, and set me back on my goals.
- The feeling of failure made me question my abilities.
- I graduated from college with a lot of debt, and student loan payments were about to kick in.
At the time, this set back was making me feel stressed about my future. I continued doing what I thought was right, which was to work hard and believe success will come. What I didn’t know was everyone around me was in the same boat, and all I had to do to get better was share my frustrations. Eventually, I met someone that asked me tough questions, and told me what I did not want to hear. “Do you want to be here?”, “Why haven’t you asked for help or said anything?” and “If you continue to try things on your own, you’re going to struggle even more.”. After hearing this, my view of working at Yelp changed right before my eyes.
If I chose to leave Yelp when I hit this obstacle, I would have never learned how to work through problems like this. The mistake I felt no longer looked as such, my confidence was back, and I started making a dent in my student loans. From that point, Yelp went from being just another job to the start of my career.
As you can see, obstacles can arrive at many points in your life, but you have to persevere through them. You may even be facing an obstacle today and wondering how you can get through it. Here are a few tips I picked up on overcoming obstacles that anyone can use:
- Speak it into existence.
Try eliminating any negativity when thinking about approaching this obstacle. Affirmations can be a strong mental visual and give you the boost you need to get through a challenge. - Keep pushing forward.
Sometimes determination and hard work are enough to get you where you want to be. - Face your challenges.
Be open with those around you. We all have obstacles that we face, and many people run into the same ones. Sharing where you’re at can help you overcome obstacles faster by learning from others or by creating thought.
Through all the challenges I’ve faced, I’ve become more confident, resilient, and I have learned there is another level to what I can achieve as a person. So, the next time you run into an obstacle, don’t run from it. When you’re faced with challenges, look at them as opportunities that will help shape who you are or will become. Although this can be difficult, exhausting, and stressful, try your hardest to rise to the occasion. When you do, there is a vast amount of growth on the other side waiting for you.
