Dating Apps: Are They Worth It?
So, are dating apps worth it? Well, that depends on who you ask. Many people hate the apps, while others enjoy the convenience they bring to their romantic lives. Before trying Hinge for the first time, I had many reservations. Mainly, how do you deal with the anxiety of a woman you’re fond of openly seeing other men? After all, who wants to be emotionally invested in someone interested in multiple suitors? No way around that, I guess. It’s just how the app life works.
Whether you’re hopping on for the first time or in the early stages of your “swipe-a-thon,” these pros, cons, and final verdict might help you for what’s to come. The court is now in session, the Honorable Marc presiding.
THE PROS:
Great For Building Confidence
We’re human and we all need a bit of validation. So, I’ll be completely honest: checking your inbox to find dozens of matches and messages from women you find extremely attractive who you thought were out of your league is on the Mount Rushmore of good feelings. It strokes that necessary itch our egos have for validation.
It’s even better when women initiate contact and engage enthusiastically during your exchange. When that enthusiasm trickles over to the date, and sparks are flying, you realize maybe you don’t suck at dating after all; you may just be a little slow getting out of the blocks and getting the momentum going.
There’s No Mistaking Initial Interest
If you matched, there’s no doubt she was at least initially interested in a possible romantic connection between the two of you. When getting to know someone in real life (IRL), it’s easy to mistake their kindness and attention for interest, which can lead to awkward misunderstandings. However, on the app, that bit of uncertainty is removed.
Whether she liked your profile pictures, your well-thought-out answers on your dating prompts, or your conversation, she swiped right, which puts you in the “yes” category.
Experience
There’s simply no amount of dating blogs, books, seminars or videos that can replace real-life experience. These mediums barely scratch the surface and rarely do justice to the depths of a genuine connection. Even when matches come in slowly and dates are underwhelming, there’s still a valuable lesson to walk away with. Believe it or not, with each date, you’re gaining confidence and learning tactics that will better serve you in the future.
You Could Actually Meet Someone Special
Not much explanation needed here. If your purpose for being on the apps is to find that special someone, rest assured you may be just a few swipes and dates away from finding your forever. There’s a lot of chatter from people who swear it’s impossible to find a genuine connection on dating apps. Drown out that noise and find out for yourself. Just because it hasn’t worked out for them yet doesn’t mean it will be the same outcome for you.
THE CONS:
Dating Can Be Expensive
I’m old school, so when it comes to picking up the tab for the first few dates, I usually go in expecting that. Women will sometimes offer to pay their half on the first date, but I’m betting my most expensive bottle of wine that it’s just a kind gesture and would probably lead to immediate disqualification if I allowed them to do so.
Whether or not you want to continue seeing each other after the first date, it’s usually the man who’s footing the bill initially. And if you’re seeing multiple women, this can add up quickly. Let’s say you have three dates (food & drinks) in a week that average $100 each. If you see each of those women once a week, that’s $1,200 a month you’re spending on dates. Keep in mind, she might be seeing multiple guys as well, which means there’s a good chance you’re part of the group of guys funding her romantic experiences (dates via the app) until she makes up her mind.
Things Can Get Overwhelming
The financial burden discussed above is only part of it. The man is also expected to be charming and funny prior to and during the date, and spend time planning the date. If you both feel a vibe on the date, the guy is usually expected to keep that momentum going. If you’re dealing with women who restrict reciprocity (even the slightest) until you’ve jumped through enough circus rings, that’s usually enough to make a guy want to throw in the towel and find greener pastures.
It Can Hinder Your Ability to Work Out Differences
One of my biggest regrets about my time on dating apps is letting some great catches go without first trying to work things out. My mentality was if she’s not giving me what I want, there’s someone else in the queue who will. What I failed to realize is that, much like myself, we’re all flawed and imperfect human beings. At some point, you’re going to have differences with a potential mate. This doesn’t mean you’re incompatible; it means you’re adults with your own personal views of the world and how it works. Sure, there may be beautiful women in your queue, but how many of them would actually make a legitimate life partner?
It Can Feed Your Insecurity
Just as I mentioned earlier that the app is great for building confidence, the opposite also applies. When there are no matches in the queue, it can make you feel less desirable or like you’re lacking something others have. When this happens, false and intrusive thoughts can slither into your mind smoother than a cunning snake, distorting your perception of what’s actually going on. This can lead to unappealing behaviors sparked by insecurity that turn off the women you’re dating. In my opinion, there’s no bigger turn-off to a woman than an insecure man.
Final Verdict
So, given both the pros and the cons, what’s the final verdict? A BIG YES — dating apps are definitely worth a shot. Much like anything else in life, dating apps come with possible risks and setbacks, but that shouldn’t stop you from using the conveniences they offer. I encourage every man, no matter your financial status or physical stature, to give dating apps a try to help supplement your quest to find a partner.
You’re going to spend money, get rejected, and heck — you might even see your date from Friday night out with another guy on Saturday night. But in the somewhat words of King Solomon, the possibility of finding ‘the one’ is your reward for all of your earthly toil. Happy swiping, folks!
“Live happily with the woman you love through all the meaningless days of life that God has given you under the sun. The wife God gives you is your reward for all your earthly toil.” — Ecclesiastes 9:9 (NLT)
If you enjoyed this read, please clap, comment, or follow. And if you really like my work, consider buying me a coffee to keep the caffeine flowing and the blogs coming!
