Stop being Un-Happy
First of all, take a deep breath and ask yourself : Am I happy ? Whatever the answer is, come again to this line after reading this post and match your answer.
Have you ever felt restless/irritated/frustrated OR unhappy anytime ? I was wondering why do we do this ? Why do we feel unhappy ? Irrespective of material possession AND luxury anyone has, happiness is not biased. It is something which comes from within.
Few days back I saw a friend [ Yea on Facebook, If I am seeing personally you will call me weirdo] and I thought (s)he does not have any aim in life. (s)he is still almost on same place as (s)he was couple of years back, (s)he has not grown with age and I find it creepy BUT (s)he seems happy.
Keeping aside the fact that even God is confused by happiness being spread in photos on social media. God is like, WTF I did not allotted this much quota for happiness. His accountants are working overtime.
But on serious notes, I really found my friend happy OR (s)he managed to convince me from posts, photos, videos etc. I had two realisations that moment.
Individuality
I am no one to judge (s)he is not happy from the definition of happiness I have. Everyone has a different lens to see world. I need to keep shut and improve. Do not over suggest, Do not over judge, Do not take decisions for others and accept the way they are. If you do not like, ignore OR simply run away. Breath! Respect Individuality :)
Happiness
What the f**k is happiness then. I came up with a simple definition and a theory which supports my friends life. To define happiness, lets understand what un-happiness is first.
Un-happiness is a state of mind when we deviate from our happy path. Now what is fish is this happy path. Happy path is which keeps us occupied with satisfaction. Everyone is doing something in their life, it could be Job, It could be parenting, It could be household tasks, it could be wandering, it could be sleeping/breathing [yes it is a task], it could be eating etc. Usually all of us do mix of these tasks on daily basis, it mean we spend time doing one of these tasks at any given moment.
If a person spends time and it is aligned with their values, they are happy. If they are consistent with their aligned tasks, they become satisfied and extremely happy. It is not about material possession at all. A new top notch gaming laptop wont make you happy if you do not crave games. It can make you excited for time being. But for someone who is hardcore gamer, it might be cause of happiness. Again it is not because of laptop they own, it is because of experience they go through while playing games.
I used to think Happiness comes from that hard aim in life. It is not the fact, it is just another opinion.
Now if someone does not have values (aim) to align their task, they can be more happier than you can imagine. It is because they are not doing anything which makes them feel they wasted time. They are passing a good time on this planet by doing all they think a person should do. They work, they spend time with family, they play, they laugh, they sleep and repeat the next day. It is not they love these things so much, it is they do not hate anything at all. In the absence of negativity, little positive emotion can make you smile and happy.
On the same note, a person is un-happy if time they spend does not align with their values. Most of people say they hate their job, It is just they are spending time in the wrong context. We can put it in other words, they love doing something else and that dissatisfaction of not being able to spend time what they love, they feel non-alignment of their time with their values and feel un-happiness. They have just deviated from their happy path.
Conclusion
So if you want to stop being un-happy, find your happy path. You have deviated from happy path. All it needs is to re-route your journey and align it with path you have crafted originally. Is it easy ?
Sometimes way to happy path is not always in front. It is same as you are driving and took a wrong turn, keep on driving wont let you reach your destination. You have to take that U-turn and continue on your correct path, You have to take that step back. Working hard is good but working hard in wrong direction wont yield the result you want. It is life, it is not that simple. You have to take one step back and two step forward to make that gradual progress. Sometimes you have to just stop. Take break, relax your mind and restart. Note that accelerator and brakes are equally important in a vehicle. If you wont push brakes, you will meet accident sooner or later.
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