Hoodies in 94-degree weather
To most people, a hoodie is just a sweatshirt with an attached head covering and is used to stay warm when temperatures begin to get a little chilly. To me, on the other hand, it means just a little bit more.
No, I don’t wear my hoodie to look like a “thug” or a scary black guy. There is nothing to be afraid of. I am not going to hurt you or run off with your pocketbook. I can assure you that I’m more nervous about you then you are (or should be) about me. I’m not dangerous, and the worst crime I’ve committed is wearing dress shoes that are a different shade of brown than my belt.
I tend to get terribly nervous and anxious around people I do not know or I am not comfortable with. I get a knot in my stomach and my usual confidence evaporates into nothing. My words don’t come out right, and eye contact, which I usually make a point to practice, makes me cringe. There’s a certain level of invisibility that I feel when I have my hoodie on. Most of my ailments are cured and I feel more comfortable in nerve-racking situations. For example, class presentations, group discussions, being introduced to new people, and many other things have been made a breeze. To see if the hoodie was really my armor against awkwardness, I would take notice of my interactions, or lack thereof, with people. I noticed that conversations felt more natural and I was willing to talk to people for longer periods of time when I had on my cloak.
I didn’t always know that I had a security blanket. Hoodies aren’t the best security blankets when you live in Florida. The number of times I get asked “Why are you wearing a hoodie in this heat?” is astronomical. Originally, my answer was always, “It’s not even that hot.” That was the short answer, though. What I really wanted to say was something more like: “I’m a grown ass man! If I wanna be hot, let me be hot. That’s no one else’s choice but my own! So get off my back, okay? It’s not even that hot.” However, one day, I realized it actually was that hot. It’s always that hot. I was drenched in sweat and extremely uncomfortable. It dawned on me that even though it is always too hot for hoodies, I still don’t hesitate to wear them. That’s when I went into full therapist mode and got to the root of the whole issue.
Yes. I know that I may sound like a basket case, and I’m alright with that. I don’t see it being any different than people wearing “lucky” socks or any other little tokens that people assign mystical powers to. This whole thing is probably mental and derives from some type of childhood event or any of a million different things that a psychologist could tell you more about than I can. That being said, I’m more interested in the “what” and not so much the “why”.
Being an aspiring journalist who gets anxious at the thought of encountering unfamiliar people, probably sounds a bit insane, right? Being a media professional and the idea of wearing hoodies at all times don’t necessarily go hand in hand. Have you ever seen a news anchor in a hoodie? Unless hooded sport coats become the hot new trend, something has to give. I’ve been working to get away from my security hoodies. It was either doing that or changing my career path, and that was not an option at all. I make sure not to wear them on presentation days and other days that I know that I will be in front of strangers or unfamiliar peers. Don’t get me wrong though. It is a process. I still have my days where I fall in the safety net, but I’m human.
Security blankets are normal and aren’t anything to be ashamed of. If you have one, don’t feel guilty or strange. You can get past it if that’s what you want to do, and if it’s not, that’s fine too. Hopefully it isn’t hoodies in 94-degree weather though.
