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Eyes Wide Open: How Optician Visits Transformed My Perspective on Life
How some worrying changes in my vision have altered my entire outlook on life going forward
It was the first properly sunny week here in England and I was feeling pleasantly relaxed as I had time off from work, and was enjoying spending time outside reading in the park with the bright blue sky overhead.
But not for long.
A couple of days into this pleasantly warm weather, I started to notice something odd happening to my eyes.
At first, I thought it was a fleck of dust in the corner of my eye, or perhaps something that had got caught on my glasses which was creating strange spots across my vision.
Being the hypochondriac I am, I couldn’t help but do a quick Google in the park. Several minutes spent fishing around the internet soon convinced me I would go blind. Immediately.
Alas, that never happened and won’t happen any time soon. But I did take a trip to the opticians to find out my vision had deteriorated and I have PVD (posterior vitreous detachment) a type of condition where the gel from the back of your eye comes away from the retina — causing floaters to stray into your vision.
This whole experience has been filled with anxiety, frustration, and panic from having fine vision one week, to now knowing that my vision may never be fully clear again. It has put a lot into perspective, that’s for sure.
At the weekend, my partner and I went for a walk along the coast. We paused to lay back on a large rock, basking in the sun and looking up at the clear blue sky. Several moments went by before I wondered out loud:
“I’m never going to see a clear blue sky ever again.”
The black dots were swirling and darting around, ruining what should have been a clear, blue sky. My partner stiffened next to me and reminded me not to think in binary terms, or focus on the black dots that threatened to send my mind spiraling again.
It worked somewhat, and the rest of the walk was enjoyed. But I can’t help but focus on that realization every time it’s a clear day, or I look at an empty blank page before me.
